Do you really want to lose weight?

What if someone were to ask you, "Do you really want to lose weight?" Would you say yes right away? Would it be an automatic response? Do you even know whether you'd like to lose weight?

Maybe you're taking it for granted that you're supposed to want to lose weight. "Well of course I do," goes the reflexive thinking. "Here are all the reasons why I'm supposed to want to lose weight:"

1. Other people expect me to
2. I've never known any other way of thinking about myself
3. I'd be healthier
4. Everybody is waiting for me to lose the weight
5. I would look like I've given up if I stop trying to lose weight
6. People would think less of me for not trying

Notice how many of the above list are about other people, not you.

But now ask yourself, entirely for yourself, do you really want to lose the weight? Is it a must? Would the sun still come up tomorrow if you decided today not to lose any weight?

Many of us are stuck in the diet trap because we've never considered not trying to lose weight. Because of how tied our weight loss is to our image and other people, it feels downright disloyal and awful to choose for ourselves whether or not it's even a goal right now.

As long as it's not truly your own goal, you may always be stuck in the diet mentality. It will always feel like a "must." And perhaps you've learned enough cognitive therapy from Diet Survivors by now to know that "musts" are often the problem, not the answer.

As long as we have weight loss as an edict for ourselves, we stay stuck in a harsh, all or nothing cycle of diet, binge, diet, binge. It never ends.

Contemplation time is the way out of many gnarly problems in life. Why is this so? Because complex problems, such as diet addiction fueled by faulty beliefs, resulting in eating disorders that lead to further faulty thinking, are problems which require adaptive change. It's not enough, in other words, to just learn portion control.

Perhaps one of the first questions to contemplate is "Do I really want to lose this weight for me?" Ponder it a while. It may be that you have a list of wrong reasons, but that you also want it for yourself, apart from those other reasons.

On the other hand, you may discover it's not even what you want right now. Perhaps what you'd like right now is to reduce your focus on food and diets, and restore your perspective in life. Maybe the weight loss can come a little later.

Either way, the normal eating life is an autonomous life. When "musts" are turned into "strongly prefers," we are empowered.