Grandiosity

Why is it that in a room full of people, we compare ourselves to the most beautiful one there? When we're at the pool, we pick out the one with the perfect figure, thinking "I'm supposed to look like that, but I don't."

Such grandiosity! In twelve-step rooms such as Alcoholics Anonymous, members are warned to be on the lookout for their own grandiosity. Twelve steppers understand that this frustrated self-aggrandizement feeds into their addictions.

Grandiosity really is a form of self-centeredness in which we believe we're supposed to be superior to others. For those of us with accompanying low self-esteem, it's the belief that we need to be superior to others just so we can measure up.

When we consider grandiosity in the context of dieting and overeating, we realize that grandiosity is especially toxic. Why? Because it's about looking perfect, which nearly nobody does. In our minds, looking perfect is about not eating. Not eating is unhealthy and extreme. We vacillate and can never win.

In addition, this kind of grandiosity sets us apart from others, weakening our ability to use group support to help us recover. We continue to think of ourselves as different, as some kind of exception--that we alone, must return to looking beautiful. How can we recover that way?

Does grandiosity set you up for failure? Why not start seeing yourself as a regular person with regular problems and a flawed figure, just like most of the rest of the world? Sobering, isn't it? And freeing.

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