June 2007 Archives
You're learning normal eating, which means you're learning to find your hunger and fullness signals. You're also learning more about your emotional eating. That's good.
As you venture down this road, you'll discover new sights and sounds. Nuances. Observations. Details.
Here's a detail: Is there a difference between everyday meals and special meals? I say yes.
Let's reason together on this. Food always has been, and likely always will be, a big part of culture and tradition. One of the many unfortunate side effects of diets is they take all the fun out of the culture. Let's put it back! Let's have special meals again.
Special meals include holidays, family events, a trip to a restaurant, and more. How do normal eaters handle special meals?
You know that waiting until you're hungry to eat is about finding the sweet spot, when you're good and hungry, but not starving and cranky. But the truth is that the sweet spot is a range.
If you're still new to finding your hunger signals, you might not be aware of the range yet. And you might not want to toy with getting overly hungry. So it's best to eat when you first become aware of hunger, especially if you're still prone to overeating when too hungry.
But if you're getting used to finding hunger and fullness, you might consider that you're ready to wait a little longer when it comes to a special meal.
Why do this? Special meals often offer foods you normally don't get to eat. You might like to "save up" your hunger, so that you can pack a little more in. After all, it's a celebration, right?
No one ever said you have to eat the same number of calories at every meal, every day, day in and day out. If you believe you must, it's a lie sold to you courtesy of the diet industry.
I know what you're thinking. "Is Linda saying it's okay to pig out at a restaurant?" Well, of course not. Do you think it makes sense to make your stomach hurt?
But as you become accustomed to food tasting better when you're good and hungry, you'll start to like finding hunger, and you'll especially like finding the hungriest end of your range when you're headed for a special meal. The rewards of doing so:
1. You'll be able to eat a little more, which is nice when you're in a venue with unusual foods.
2. You'll enjoy the hunger while anticipating the meal.
3. Getting especially hungry will help assign high value to the upcoming event.
4. The food will taste so good that it will be memorable. Food memories are part of culture too.
Click on the book cover for more information
This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter.
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Are you resilient? Here's a test:
1. Do you fall apart when someone disagrees with you?
2. Do you avoid all controversial subjects?
3. If you overeat, do you throw in the towel?
4. Is it difficult to cheer yourself up?
5. Are setbacks the same as failures?
6. Do failures mean doom?
7. Do you judge yourself unmercifully?
8. Are you intolerant of your own mistakes?
9. Do you allow others' opinions of you shape who you are?
If you fit any one of these, you may not have enough resiliency.
In Raising Resilient Children: Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child, authors Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein say this, "Parents who engage in the process of raising resilient youngsters possess an understanding that is sometimes explicit, at other times implicit or intuitive, of what they can do to nurture a resilient mindset and behaviors in their children."
But you may not have been parented that way. And now, here you are as an adult, not terribly resilient. Is it too late?
Of course not! But how to find resiliency now?
Resilience building in children comes by way of example and positive discussions. As an adult you have the unique advantage of saying exactly what you want said to you. That is, you can do a better job now than your parents might have done, had they been at their best.
Here are some ideas:
1. Teach and model empathy to yourself
2. Listen carefully to yourself and your needs
3. Notice and comment on what you're doing right; develop a tolerance of your mistakes
4. Make yourself feel special and appreciated
5. Set realistic goals for yourself
6. Communicate self-acceptance
7. Find your areas of competence and develop them
8. Develop a habit of learning from your mistakes objectively
9. Teach yourself to make rational decisions
10. Teach yourself courage
This is a lifetime process, but did you even realize you need to do it? As adults, all of us are self-teachers. We pick up the slack where we didn't receive what we needed while being raised.
Resilience will help you with your weight and body image. Start today.
Click on the book cover for more information
This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter.
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
You're learning normal eating, but you still see-saw between extremes. You don't know which side of the see-saw to land on. Maybe you'll recognize one of these:
1. Sugar is poison vs. sugar is satisfying in small amounts
2. I felt so healthy on the Atkins diet vs. I must get away from all diet thinking
3. I must get away from wanting to lose weight vs. Who am I kidding? Weight loss is still why I'm in this
4. Weighing myself every day is what makes me crazy vs. weighing myself is how to stay accountable
Perhaps you have you own see-saw, one not listed here.
Do you see-saw between two extremes?
Do you feel like a failure learning intuitive eating because you can't make up your mind which side to land on with a thump?
Consider this. We all have struggles. We all have dichotomies. But how important are they to resolve?
Here's a suggestion. Identify your see-saw. Then surrender to the fact that it may never go away. You might learn normal eating, and still struggle with the see-saw. Then demote your see-saw in its importance.
Today when you get caught on your see-saw, laugh at yourself, and then ask and answer "How important is it really for me to resolve this once and for all? Not important enough."
Then decide for the moment where to land. Tomorrow you can decide again. Keep laughing. Seesaws are fun. Don't try and get it right once and for all. It's just not important enough.
Click on the book cover for more information
This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter.
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
