October 2007 Archives
People come to the Diet Survivors message board to learn how to quit dieting. When said aloud, that sounds a little contradictory, doesn't it? Don't people try to diet, rather than try not to?
We've had years of drill in the belief that diets are good. Diets solve a problem. Diets are healthy.
But they don't and they're not. Instead, for many of you, diets are a sort of psychological addiction. They're a roller coaster you keep thinking you should be on. If you're lucky, someone points out, or you figure out on your own, that the diet life could be a problem rather than an answer. Maybe, just maybe, you dare to question the roller coaster. Maybe you want to get off.
Then you learn about intuitive eating, either on the Diet Survivors message board, or from any of a number of good books. This alternative way of eating is also known as non-dieting or normal eating. It's about finding your hunger signals, eating only until gently full, and then waiting for hunger signals again. It's about eating normal, delicious food.
Sounds great, right? So why is it that some of you "go back out there" and diet again? For the same reasons that alcoholics leave AA, and try drinking again. They're used to it, it gives them some kind of thrill. It's an ingrained way of life. In the case of dieters, their diets give them some sense of control and order, as deceiving as it may be.
But the news is good for alcoholics. There's a slogan they have in Alcoholics Anonymous that goes like this "A.A. ruins your drinking."
Sure enough, for many, they learn about the sober world, they learn about new ways to cope with their feelings, they learn about themselves, and most importantly, they sober up enough to realize all the shameful, embarrasing, neglectful, self-abusing things they've done.
For those folks, going "back out there" once or twice is the most sobering act of all -- their drinking is no fun anymore. They don't get that old thrill back when they drink. They come back to their meetings with a new revelation: "A.A. has ruined my drinking." This time, they really want to be in A.A.
The same goes for dieters whov'e had a taste of abstinence from overeating, feeling their real feelings, and eating normal, delicous food. Whether they've lost weight that way or not, they've had a glimpse of normal living. But then the lure of the diet world returns, and they "go back out there" and diet again. Once or twice.
But the thrill is gone. From day one, they've already lost their enthusiasm for tasteless salads and rigid regimens. They're already aware that they eat when they don't want to feel their feelings. They already have some idea of how to wait for hunger and find their fullness. They're more aware than ever that their dieting parnters talk of nothing but food and calories and weight loss. It's a dull roar, and they're sick of it.
Normal eating has ruined their dieting. After "going back out there" once or twice, and trying dieting again, they realize it's no fun anymore. Even if they do lose a pound or two, they know what's around the corner as they stare down at their feet on the scale. They know they'll have a rebound soon, and that next they will become depressed. It's a familiar dance. They last one whole day on their new diet. They just have no tolerance anymore for dieting.
Finally, they are off the roller coaster permanently. They learn to eat normally as their new, permanent, way of life. They get some support to "keep it green."
"Keeping it green" is another A.A. slogan that means "don't forget how bad it was."
Diets may not be the same kind of addiction as alcohol addiction. Nonetheless, you know if you're hooked on dieiting. And you know when you're fed up.
Happily, there's now an alternative. Read a boook about normal eating today. Or join the free Diet Survivors message board to learn about how not to diet. You'll be relieved.
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How to Survive Your Diet.
In the effort to control your weight, are you already doing your best? For many of you, you've been doing your best for years already. Is there anything you can possibly do that you haven't done?
Probably not. If you feel you're already doing your best to eat reasonable portions, to avoid overeating dessert, and to stop when you're full, then why are you still making yourself crazy with diets and watching the scale?
Here's an idea. Why not ditch the scale, and just rely on doing your best? It's all you can do, right? And that way, you can enjoy life. Hey, you're either doing your personal best or your not. Make up your mind.
You've ditched your diet addiction and traded it in for learning to sense your hunger and fullness signals. So do you still need to control your portions?
Yes and no. Theoretically, hunger and fullness signals should be pretty reliable. But it's a long road to finding that sensitivity, one paved with bumps and detours.
How will portion control help? For intuitive eaters, also called normal eaters, portion awareness may work better than portion control. After all, you gave up dieting because the whole "control" approach to eating never worked for you.
It's easy to gain portion awareness. Just watch thin, normal eaters.
Watch someone who has always been thin, or someone who has been an intuitive eater for a while and is at a reasonable weight.
Notice their portion sizes.
Also notice a few other traits common to normal eaters:
1. Some are pretty picky, choosing the best bittes first, and discarding any bit of food that's less than perfect
2. They stop without finishing their food because they're satisfied
3. If they put too much on their plates, they end up leaving more on their plates
4. They slow down as they get full, and push their food around (children do that too)
As a final note, here's what not to do:
1. Don't watch anorexics, bulimics or othe rdisordered eaters to learn about portion sizes. They will confuse you.
2. Don't look to restaurant portions as a good guide, unless perhaps it's a French restaurant.
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How to Survive Your Diet.
A prominent psychologist once said that the happiest people are the ones who don't have a case of the "if-onlies" as in "My life would be perfect if only..." You fill in the blank.
Do you think it's because those happy people have perfect circumstances? Or could it be that they are able to be content with what they already have?
Happiness doesn't arise from circumstances. It comes from one's attitude or approach to one's circumstances. Happiness is more of a choice than you might think.
I don't have the if-onlies. I love my life. Yes I hate my wallpaper, and I'm the one who picked it out, which makes it even worse. Yes I have a disabled teen that still can't zip his own zipper. He will likely always be dependent on me, and I probably will never enjoy an empty nest.
But it would be stupid of me to still be chasing after an elusive happiness. Life is full of brokenness, and I've decided I can be happy anyway. I can find happiness right here and now.
Here's a challenge today to all of you who still have eating issues, eating disorders, or any kind of dysfunction. Can you try saying, "My life is already pretty good, even with my eating issues." Or "My life is already pretty good, even though I'm overweight." Is it possible you could choose to be happy RIGHT NOW, even though you're still on a path to overcoming your problems?
Granted, there are sad times in life. So maybe contentment, rather than happiness, is what I'm talking about. Some folks call it joy. How much power do we really have to be content or joyous, regardless of outside circumstances? Quite a bit, I would venture.
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How to Survive Your Diet.
