Going back out there

People come to the Diet Survivors message board to learn how to quit dieting. When said aloud, that sounds a little contradictory, doesn't it? Don't people try to diet, rather than try not to?

We've had years of drill in the belief that diets are good. Diets solve a problem. Diets are healthy.

But they don't and they're not. Instead, for many of you, diets are a sort of psychological addiction. They're a roller coaster you keep thinking you should be on. If you're lucky, someone points out, or you figure out on your own, that the diet life could be a problem rather than an answer. Maybe, just maybe, you dare to question the roller coaster. Maybe you want to get off.

Then you learn about intuitive eating, either on the Diet Survivors message board, or from any of a number of good books. This alternative way of eating is also known as non-dieting or normal eating. It's about finding your hunger signals, eating only until gently full, and then waiting for hunger signals again. It's about eating normal, delicious food.

Sounds great, right? So why is it that some of you "go back out there" and diet again? For the same reasons that alcoholics leave AA, and try drinking again. They're used to it, it gives them some kind of thrill. It's an ingrained way of life. In the case of dieters, their diets give them some sense of control and order, as deceiving as it may be.

But the news is good for alcoholics. There's a slogan they have in Alcoholics Anonymous that goes like this "A.A. ruins your drinking."

Sure enough, for many, they learn about the sober world, they learn about new ways to cope with their feelings, they learn about themselves, and most importantly, they sober up enough to realize all the shameful, embarrasing, neglectful, self-abusing things they've done.

For those folks, going "back out there" once or twice is the most sobering act of all -- their drinking is no fun anymore. They don't get that old thrill back when they drink. They come back to their meetings with a new revelation: "A.A. has ruined my drinking." This time, they really want to be in A.A.

The same goes for dieters whov'e had a taste of abstinence from overeating, feeling their real feelings, and eating normal, delicous food. Whether they've lost weight that way or not, they've had a glimpse of normal living. But then the lure of the diet world returns, and they "go back out there" and diet again. Once or twice.

But the thrill is gone. From day one, they've already lost their enthusiasm for tasteless salads and rigid regimens. They're already aware that they eat when they don't want to feel their feelings. They already have some idea of how to wait for hunger and find their fullness. They're more aware than ever that their dieting parnters talk of nothing but food and calories and weight loss. It's a dull roar, and they're sick of it.

Normal eating has ruined their dieting. After "going back out there" once or twice, and trying dieting again, they realize it's no fun anymore. Even if they do lose a pound or two, they know what's around the corner as they stare down at their feet on the scale. They know they'll have a rebound soon, and that next they will become depressed. It's a familiar dance. They last one whole day on their new diet. They just have no tolerance anymore for dieting.

Finally, they are off the roller coaster permanently. They learn to eat normally as their new, permanent, way of life. They get some support to "keep it green."

"Keeping it green" is another A.A. slogan that means "don't forget how bad it was."

Diets may not be the same kind of addiction as alcohol addiction. Nonetheless, you know if you're hooked on dieiting. And you know when you're fed up.

Happily, there's now an alternative. Read a boook about normal eating today. Or join the free Diet Survivors message board to learn about how not to diet. You'll be relieved.

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Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.