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Can you really quit dieting? And what does that mean?
Did you know that people without emotional problems can actually go on a diet, lose weight, then eat sensibly? In other words, they can diet successfully. But how many people do you know without emotional problems? Very few.
And then there are the rest of us. If we're lucky, we wake up and realize one day that dieting isn't working for us.
Each of us h as different problems with diets, but see if you recognize yourself somewhere in this list. Here are a few things it could mean to quit dieting:
To quit dieting means:
To stop following your plan.
To quit attending your diet group.
To stop sneaking food at night.
To stop trying to "be good" in public.
To stop altering what's in your food.
To stop incessantly weighing yourself.
To stop counting calories or points in your head while watching your kid's baseball game.
To stop feeling deprived.
To stop feeling the need to binge.
To stop putting your life on hold until you lose "the weight."
Sound Too Good to be True?
The hardest thing about quitting the diet life is the grief over lost time. Grieving requires some courage.
Find your courage today. Learn about normal eating. But first free yourself from the diet mentality. Quit now. Go "cold turkey."
Click on the book cover for more information
Normal Eating solutions: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
Okay so you totally messed things up. You over ate, and then got so upset about it that you ate some more. Finally you were in so much pain that you had to lie down. And strange things happened to your body that cannot be discussed delicately here.
I found you out? This behavior may be more common than you think. You are not alone! You may as well admit your secret to someone because, as they say, "You're only as sick as your secrets." But of course, find only a safe person to tell.
One key to recovery from binge eating is to stop thinking in black and white. Simple, yet difficult. It's time to allow yourself the luxury of stopping arbitrarily, right in the middle of the binge. If you can do that, you can recover.
Each time a binge starts, decide to stop arbitrarily. Celebrate every time you do that. Each time, you'll be able to stop earlier and earlier because you'll feel so good about achieving "arbitrariness."
Remember, the disorder won't go away overnight. But if you keep thinking in "shades of gray," rather than "black and white," if you discard notions of having to stop at midnight, or only when you're in pain, or only when all the ice cream's gone, if you can achieve "arbitrariness," then you will eventually be able to stop before it starts. And that's as good as it gets.
But that sounds pretty good to me.
Click on the book cover for more information
Normal Eating solutions: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
Recently, someone in the Diet Survivors group complained that our board has too much personality.
Well well well! That's by design. Here's my thinking. My vision for people who come to the Diet Survivors message board is for them to find their OWN wisdom, their OWN critical thinking. 
In my opinion, the most devastating result of dieting is a surrender of one's individuality and sense of reason.
By infusing my personality in the Diet Survivors materials and on the board, and reinforcing my name, I'm always endeavoring for people to know when it's me speaking.
That's because I'm always trying, in my own small way, to MODEL critical thinking.
That's why one member recently commented that I take her by surprise in the things I say.
I don't do it to be contrary. I do it because I'm not totally subscribed to anything, including normal eating. Rather, I simply try to be an intellectual about things. That's what I'm modeling.
That's why people on this board are not being turned into normal-eating crazies. They're not becoming militant and rigid about yet a new thing.
There's a modicum of truth in every idea--even dieting. I'm certain that a small segment of the population does okay with a formal diet. Why say otherwise? Saying otherwise only promulgates more lies.
Haven't we had enough lies from the diet industry? How about if our new approach to life, our new world view, be an intellectual one? The intellectual approach holds little room for sweeping generalizations and broad brushes.
For those of you who feel lost, those who've wandered into extreme religions, extreme diets, a spartan lifestyle, have addictions or compulsions, or any other polarized way of approaching the world, and who are sick of it, here's a suggestion.
Begin to think of yourself as an emerging intellectual. You don't have to be bookish. Just willing to set your mind to things. You'd be amazed at how freeing it is. Be a free thinker.
Click on the book cover for more information
Normal Eating solutions: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate! This blog entry, unlike most others of mine, is actually an advertisement. But read on. It's an interesting deal just for buying one book.
On Thursday, November 29, 2007, there will be a compelling offer on Amazon.com. (That's exactly a week from Thanksgiving).
On that day, purchase Dr. Michael R. Edelstein's book, "Three Minute Therapy" at Amazon.com for $14.93, and you will receive materials on the web valued at more than $700.00. Click the book image below for more information.
The e-materials you receive are provided by authors and experts with an interest in Dr. Edelstein and the field of cognitive therapy. That will include a freebie from yours truly.
In addition, you'll even receive, for those who are game, a ten minute session with the best-selling author, Dr. Michael Edelstein, by telephone, an appointment set up just for you and you alone.
If you're on one of my message boards, or have read my book, you know the value of "Three Minute Therapy." It is my belief that the simple kind of self-therapy explained in his book is worth gold to folks trying to ditch the diet mentality. Why? Because ditching the diet is like leaving a cult. You have some work to do in your thinking, and Edelstein shows you how.
Dr. Edelstein writes, "If you take the trouble to learn the techniques explained in this book, think about them, and apply them to your own problems, you'll be able to tackle difficulties that may have so far seemed unmanageable. Some of your worst fears and anxieties will diminish or dissolve away, and you will become more effective at pursuing your chosen goals in life."
Dr. Edelstein lectures nationally and internationally, appears on radio, television, newspapers, and the internet, and is published in numerous psychological journals. He also writes the advice column, "Ask Dr. Mike."
Dr. Edelstein has served as a Training Supervisor and Fellow of the Albert Ellis Institute. He is on the Board of Advisors of the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists, which honored him with the "Author of the Year" award for his book, "Three Minute Therapy."
Best-Selling Author Dr. Martin Blinder, Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Past Adjunct Professor of Law, University of California, San Francisco says: 
"With a series of incisive insights Michael Edelstein cuts through the psychological jargon and makes clear how all of us can effect powerful changes in our psyches, in our lives, and in the lives of our loved ones."
Here's the link so you can see the book, but remember, you get the free e-materials and the free phone consultation only if you make your purchase of Dr. Edelstein's book on November 29!
Three Minute Therapy: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life
Would you like a personal reminder the night before the event? Join either of my Yahoo! message boards:
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
People come to the Diet Survivors message board to learn how to quit dieting. When said aloud, that sounds a little contradictory, doesn't it? Don't people try to diet, rather than try not to?
We've had years of drill in the belief that diets are good. Diets solve a problem. Diets are healthy.
But they don't and they're not. Instead, for many of you, diets are a sort of psychological addiction. They're a roller coaster you keep thinking you should be on. If you're lucky, someone points out, or you figure out on your own, that the diet life could be a problem rather than an answer. Maybe, just maybe, you dare to question the roller coaster. Maybe you want to get off.
Then you learn about intuitive eating, either on the Diet Survivors message board, or from any of a number of good books. This alternative way of eating is also known as non-dieting or normal eating. It's about finding your hunger signals, eating only until gently full, and then waiting for hunger signals again. It's about eating normal, delicious food.
Sounds great, right? So why is it that some of you "go back out there" and diet again? For the same reasons that alcoholics leave AA, and try drinking again. They're used to it, it gives them some kind of thrill. It's an ingrained way of life. In the case of dieters, their diets give them some sense of control and order, as deceiving as it may be.
But the news is good for alcoholics. There's a slogan they have in Alcoholics Anonymous that goes like this "A.A. ruins your drinking."
Sure enough, for many, they learn about the sober world, they learn about new ways to cope with their feelings, they learn about themselves, and most importantly, they sober up enough to realize all the shameful, embarrasing, neglectful, self-abusing things they've done.
For those folks, going "back out there" once or twice is the most sobering act of all -- their drinking is no fun anymore. They don't get that old thrill back when they drink. They come back to their meetings with a new revelation: "A.A. has ruined my drinking." This time, they really want to be in A.A.
The same goes for dieters whov'e had a taste of abstinence from overeating, feeling their real feelings, and eating normal, delicous food. Whether they've lost weight that way or not, they've had a glimpse of normal living. But then the lure of the diet world returns, and they "go back out there" and diet again. Once or twice.
But the thrill is gone. From day one, they've already lost their enthusiasm for tasteless salads and rigid regimens. They're already aware that they eat when they don't want to feel their feelings. They already have some idea of how to wait for hunger and find their fullness. They're more aware than ever that their dieting parnters talk of nothing but food and calories and weight loss. It's a dull roar, and they're sick of it.
Normal eating has ruined their dieting. After "going back out there" once or twice, and trying dieting again, they realize it's no fun anymore. Even if they do lose a pound or two, they know what's around the corner as they stare down at their feet on the scale. They know they'll have a rebound soon, and that next they will become depressed. It's a familiar dance. They last one whole day on their new diet. They just have no tolerance anymore for dieting.
Finally, they are off the roller coaster permanently. They learn to eat normally as their new, permanent, way of life. They get some support to "keep it green."
"Keeping it green" is another A.A. slogan that means "don't forget how bad it was."
Diets may not be the same kind of addiction as alcohol addiction. Nonetheless, you know if you're hooked on dieiting. And you know when you're fed up.
Happily, there's now an alternative. Read a boook about normal eating today. Or join the free Diet Survivors message board to learn about how not to diet. You'll be relieved.
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How to Survive Your Diet.
You've ditched your diet addiction and traded it in for learning to sense your hunger and fullness signals. So do you still need to control your portions?
Yes and no. Theoretically, hunger and fullness signals should be pretty reliable. But it's a long road to finding that sensitivity, one paved with bumps and detours.
How will portion control help? For intuitive eaters, also called normal eaters, portion awareness may work better than portion control. After all, you gave up dieting because the whole "control" approach to eating never worked for you.
It's easy to gain portion awareness. Just watch thin, normal eaters.
Watch someone who has always been thin, or someone who has been an intuitive eater for a while and is at a reasonable weight.
Notice their portion sizes.
Also notice a few other traits common to normal eaters:
1. Some are pretty picky, choosing the best bittes first, and discarding any bit of food that's less than perfect
2. They stop without finishing their food because they're satisfied
3. If they put too much on their plates, they end up leaving more on their plates
4. They slow down as they get full, and push their food around (children do that too)
As a final note, here's what not to do:
1. Don't watch anorexics, bulimics or othe rdisordered eaters to learn about portion sizes. They will confuse you.
2. Don't look to restaurant portions as a good guide, unless perhaps it's a French restaurant.
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How to Survive Your Diet.
Why is it that in a room full of people, we compare ourselves to the most beautiful one there? When we're at the pool, we pick out the one with the perfect figure, thinking "I'm supposed to look like that, but I don't."
Such grandiosity! In twelve-step rooms such as Alcoholics Anonymous, members are warned to be on the lookout for their own grandiosity. Twelve steppers understand that this frustrated self-aggrandizement feeds into their addictions.
Grandiosity really is a form of self-centeredness in which we believe we're supposed to be superior to others. For those of us with accompanying low self-esteem, it's the belief that we need to be superior to others just so we can measure up.
When we consider grandiosity in the context of dieting and overeating, we realize that grandiosity is especially toxic. Why? Because it's about looking perfect, which nearly nobody does. In our minds, looking perfect is about not eating. Not eating is unhealthy and extreme. We vacillate and can never win.
In addition, this kind of grandiosity sets us apart from others, weakening our ability to use group support to help us recover. We continue to think of ourselves as different, as some kind of exception--that we alone, must return to looking beautiful. How can we recover that way?
Does grandiosity set you up for failure? Why not start seeing yourself as a regular person with regular problems and a flawed figure, just like most of the rest of the world? Sobering, isn't it? And freeing.
Check out the free Diet Survivors newsletter
This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free
Diet Survivors newsletter.
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Read Eat Normal Now
The thrill of the kill. Hunters understand it. It's that rush when they zero in on their target. Mountain climbers understand it too. It's the anticipation, the false peak, and then the exhilaration when they finally reach the real peak and soak up the panoramic view. It's a rush of adrenaline.
Race car drivers, rescue workers, parachutists, and stunt men all love the adrenaline rush, and strive to repeat it again and again. And nearly all of us have sought the thrill of the roller coaster at one time.
Adrenaline can be addicting. When it's turned toward something good, how could we argue? Adrenaline can help you take a test, brighten your solo voice, or run a good race.
Even if it's risky, it can help us rescue someone from a burning building. But what if you're addicted to a thrill that's disguised as good, but is slowly leading to your demise?
That's what diets do. They give us the thrill of the adrenaline rush, followed by a letdown, followed by a redoubling of our efforts to get that feeling back. It's one reason why dieters who reach their goal weight either continue to lose, becoming underweight, or gain the weight back so they can lose it again. They can't stop reaching for the thrill. They're hooked on adrenaline.
Are you hooked on one of these?:
1. The thrill of the weigh-in
2. The thrill of tightening that belt enough to find the unused hole
3. The thrill of compliments
4. The thrill of counting up your day's calories and seeing that you didn't cheat
5. The thrill of buying new, smaller clothes
6. Even the thrill of feeling a little hungry or deprived at the start of the diet.
This last one is most interesting and insidious. With the gung-ho attitude of a new diet, you misinterpret the rush to mean that your harsh treatment of yourself is healthy and good. But it doesn't last. Eventually, the truth prevails.
Does adrenaline have a place in weight loss? Can you think of one good role that adrenaline can play in learning intuitive eating? I can't think of any.
There are times in our lives, in fact, when we shoo away adrenaline. When we're building a house of cards. When we're tying to beat someone at chess. When we're preparing for a speech, carrying the new baby down the stairs, pulling into the school parking lot to have a heart to heart with the principal.
When we're interviewing for a job, learning to drive, adding up numbers to fill in our tax forms for the IRS.
You can surely think of more. The truth is that we have hundreds of times in our days and weeks when we resist the temptation to get a rush. They always seem to be during tasks that require calm, sustained, concentration.
Why is it, then, that at one of the most focused times in our lives, when we are trying to change how we eat, we abandon all reason and seek a thrill? It doesn't make sense.
Are you addicted to the thrill of dieting? Of weight loss? Of compliments? Of buying smaller sizes? Does that explain your temptation to return to dieting?
If so, stop and think. Can you go on like that forever? Does the adrenaline rush, in fact, cover over your body's appetite signals? While you're thrill-seeking, your body is pleading in quiet desperation:
1. Please don't give me another one of those diet shakes
2. I need more fats, now!
3. Gosh I'd love a balanced meal
4. I can't stand this much longer
5. This diet soda is poisoning me
6. I don't feel well
7. If you feed me one more green soup, I'll explode
Is the thrill of the kill killing you? Your body is desperately awaiting sound reason, while your mind is on the thrill of the ride.
It's time to shoo away the adrenaline. Use calm reason. Use logic and grandmotherly wisdom. Go out of your way to avoid thrills. Sounds dull by comparison, doesn't it? But you've tried the other, and you know where it got you. If the adrenaline way to diet worked, you wouldn't be reading this.
Today, picture one of those "no smoking" signs. You know--the one with the picture of the cigarette that's crossed out with a red diagonal line.
Change it in your mind to "no adrenaline." Then, along your journey to normal eating, every time you're tempted to ride the adrenaline rush, think of that sign.
Check out the free Diet Survivors newsletter
This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free
Diet Survivors newsletter.
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
