Diet Survivors: August 2005 Archives
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. What is normal eating? Let's get back to basics. This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter. referrer=http://www.lindamoran.net/blog/">Subscribe now.
If you were raised in a dysfunctional or alchoholic home, psychologists tell us that one trait you might have is that you guess at what normal is. Does this mean it's a bad thing to do? Yes and no.
It's not bad or good, actually. What it does mean is that you're a little unsure of yourself, and tend to rely on others as your guide to normal behavior and normal thinking. As you gain self-confidence as an adult, some of this guessing will go away. In tandem, as you develop your own discernment and judgment, you can become picky about what you imitate in an effort at approximating normalcy. There's nothing wrong with mimicking the winnners a little bit. That's simply called admiration.
It seems that normal eating is even harder to capture than other behaviors. If you grew up seeing disordered eating, you might not know what normal eating looks like. Even if you were raised in an emotionally healthy home, you may have gone off the deep end with your eating, and not trust yourself to know what normal eating is like.
You may be flailing about. Following, then, is a summarized list of what normal eaters do:
1. Food is important to them, but only when they're hungry. They like food a lot, and are very picky about it. They may only eat a small percentage of the foods available in their supermarket, and care deeply about how it's prepared and what brand it is. They'd rather go hungry than eat something less than optimal.
2. They wait until they're hungry before they eat, and even then, they fuss about their plate, fork, and spoon. They take their time preparing their drink, and then they laugh with friends for five more minutes before digging in.
3. They bring a snack to work if they know they'll get overly hungry. The snack is small, and just enough to hold them another hour or so before lunch.
4. They can't imagine eating when not hungry. The food on their plate may as well be play-dough.
5. They eat slowly and wash down each bite with water or a tasty drink. They talk in-between.
6. When they have to hurry, they tend to err on the side of undereating rather than overeating, because they really don't like that feeling of being too full.
7. They don't worry about too many good foods will be at the party. They know they won't overeat.
8. They do worry a little bit that there won't be anything they like at the party. If they've been to that person's parties before and didn't like anything there, they might sneak a snack before leaving, or put something in the car to chow down on.
9. As they get older, when they see they've gained a few pounds more than they think they should, they spend two minutes deciding to be slightly more careful, and that's that. They're now even more careful than before about hunger and fullness.
10. They exercise for fun, and not to burn off the extra calories from what they just ate.
11. They sit with uncomfortable feelings, knowing that the feelings won't last forever. They accept that stress and bad feelings are part of life, and do not need to be chased away with lightning speed.
12. They're thin, but not overly thin.
13. They do not alter their food in any way so as to reduce the calories. They never want to sacrifice taste.
This is by no means a complete list. In addition, normal eaters may not do all of the above, but they probably do most of them. But for those of you who are a little lost, this list may be interesting to you.
You can also add to this list your own normal eating traits. After all, the idea is to become an individual about your eating, and leave the cookie cutter (as it were) behind.
Read about portion control.
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. When everything is normal, how do you feel about yourself? This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter. referrer=http://www.lindamoran.net/blog/">Subscribe now.
For many disordered eaters, the distorted self-talk and beliefs preceded the disordered eating, and was subsequently made worse by the dieting. After all, emotionally balanced folks don't go off such a deep end. For many, it's about poor self-worth.
When all is going well in your life, do you live with self-hate? Do you only feel good about yourself when you've done something monumental, such as rescuing somebody's kitten from a tree? If so, then poor self-image is your default.
Using cognitive therapy, you can change your default. It's a matter of using the ABCDEF method. Here's a brief example:
Activating Event: Everything in life is normal, but you've become aware of how often you put yourself down (nearly always).
Belief: You believe that you should not think highly of yourself, or that you have to be superior in order to be acceptable. Even your boyfriend's dog has more dignity than you.
Consequence: You feel badly about yourself often, and are basically not as happy or content as you could be.
Dispute: Who says you can't just be yourself and be acceptable? What rule are you following that you must prove yourself over and over? You can spend a few days contemplating these questions. You realize you've believed lies and that you don't have to feel badly about yourself.
Effective new belief: You begin to replace your beliefs with beliefs and self-talk about your acceptability.
Feelings: Your feelings about yourself improve, and over time with lots of practice, feeling good about yourself becomes your default!
I don't personally like debt of any kind, except for home mortgage debt, which is pretty hard to avoid if you ever want your family to have a house before the kids are off to college! I'd rather have the joy of saving up for stuff.
I'm also stingy, and don't buy for myself. But is it worth it to be so stingy with ourselves when we are recovering disordered eaters? My answer is "no."
Think about the distorted behaviors and thought patterns behind diets, and the triggers to overeating. We are delicate creatures indeed, and we might not stop being delicate anytime soon. Just about anything can send us over the edge. Even wearing a pair of pants too tight could be enough to trigger stress, leading to a binge.
Binges are costly, and so are special diets and special foods we buy in the name of weight loss. Aren't we better off spending the money on some clothes that fit? If we would have gone into debt in order to recover anyway, why not spend a bit instead on nice clothes that make us feel like human beings and feel acceptable as we are?
Today, think about the clothes you own. Did you just buy something recently that shrank, and now you're still trying to wear it? Get looser about spending on new clothes, and get willing to toss out even new clothes that just don't make you feel good. And speaking of loose, buy clothes that are nice and loose and roomy and comfortable!
You'll save money in the long run. That's the beauty of it.
Check out this beautiful dress on Amazon.com.
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Is fasting okay to do?
With some things, such as going for our annual checkup at the doctor, the reason behind it doesn't much matter, as long as we go! If it's because somebody is pestering you about it, or because you're friends with the receptionist, or because it's the smart thing to do -- these are all equally good reasons to get your checkup.
But with other things, the reason behind it matters a good deal. For example, recent studies have found that people who force themselves to do activities they don't enjoy just for the sake of exercise do not benefit from the exercise. In fact, due to increased stress hormones, the exercise can do more harm than good.
Another example is having children. There are good, bad, and lots of in-between reasons to have kids. It's probably okay to have some stupid reasons thrown in, but it's better if we have at least one really good one in the mix as well.
So, too, with fasting. If your reason to fast is religious and you're doing it reasonably, then fasting probably won't harm you a bit. You might even lose a pound or two along the way, but remember that weight loss from fasting is usually temporary. You'll be ravenously hungry when the fast is over!
But if your reason to fast is to achieve rapid weight loss, or to force yourself to be hungry, or to counteract a recent binge, think twice. Your beliefs are faulty. Let's dispute them.
1. Fasting for weight loss does not work. You'll feel so deprived that if anything, in the end you may be heavier than when you started.
2. It is worth reminding you here that diets are all about forcing yourself to do unnatural things. You've already found out this doesn't work, right? That's why you're reading this meditation.
3. Counteracting a binge by starving is like solving black and white thinking with more black and white thinking. This will backfire, and you already know that. Black and white thinking, also called "all or nothing thinking," is at the heart of disordered eating.
So what's left? There's an in-between kind of reason to fast, wherein you start your very first day of non-dieting, and you're patiently waiting for hunger. And waiting. Now you're in your second day and you still haven't eaten! It sure looks a lot like fasting.
So be it. Your reason for not eating is, in this case, that you are simply waiting for your stomach to growl. Don't worry. Hunger will eventually come, and as you lose the weight, you won't continue to go a day or two without eating at all! That only happens in the beginning. Your body will be happy with you, and won't rebel. But once you feel that hunger, don't put off eating.
Your reasons, as you can see, matter a good deal. In short, if you choose to fast for religious reasons, be sure and check your motives carefully. If you have a second sneaky reason, you might be well advised to hold off on religious fasting until you can get more of a grip, maybe a few months down the road. Certainly God will understand! However, if it's a strict rule, then perhaps do your fast, but be introspective about that second, sneaky reason.
And don't refrain from water. That's not healthy.
With love, Linda Moran
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. What does "legalizing all foods" really mean?
So you're learning the art of non-dieting, whatever the heck that is. And this entails "legalizing all foods," whatever the heck that means. Personally, I like the term "normal eating" better. But it's all just words, so let's look at what we're doing.
I've read some posts on the board that puzzle me. They're about gaining weight as a result of legalizing all foods. I've stayed quiet and thought about this, and now I'm ready to speak. Sorry I'm so stupid about it, but I don't get it. Does legalizing all foods mean legalizing overeating? This makes no sense to my rational mind.
Yes I know that many of us have been a bit brainwashed about which foods are good and which foods are bad. Moreover, we have all this guilt around the bad foods. Part of this process, certainly, is to start to see foods in their shades of gray, rather than as "all good" or "all bad."
But legalizing all foods without bounds is just another black and white rule! It's just more "all or nothing thinking." Are they really "all good"?
Some of you have stocked up on all the bad foods as a means to help you legalize all foods. If that works for you personally, then go for it. But are you trying to apply it like it's some kind of new rule? And are you "allowing" yourself all the sweets you want? Your body doesn't like this. I thought that the amount was supposed to be more important than the content. This extreme legalizing seems to include an insidious message that we're supposed to "treat ouselves" after all the deprivation. Then it's supposed to "all settle down" after a while.
How can our bodies possibly learn to eat right when we're on a free-for-all?
Did you know that one of those miniature Snickers bar is so full of fat and sugar that it should satisfy you easily enough (and only after dinner, mind you.) Where is our common sense? No, I don't recommend having that Snickers bar for lunch just as a way of legalizing.
Instead, I recommend that each one of you uses your good old fashioned grandmother-wisdom. It's simple: eat your vegetables, have a serving of starch and a serving of protein. Have a little bit of dessert if you're still hungry. Or save room for dessert.
Oh, and wait until you're hungry before your meal, and then see if you can sense (and it will feel arbitrary at first) when you are around eighty percent full. That's when to stop.
When we are overweight, our bodies are just itching to get that weight off. They are perfectly happy to eat smaller balanced portions than we've been giving them. Perhaps that's why I've emphasized words such as "small" and "tiny." If the food is delicious, it will satisfy.
And so when you truly set about to wait for hunger, and you are earnest about learning to sense what you'd like to eat, and you are applying reasonableness, your body will lose the weight, not gain it. Yes, perhaps it will level off for a while, but we're getting out of the business of monitoring and controlling our weight so closely, right?
Conversely, if you are underweight, and you apply the above steps, your body will likewise do the healthy thing and put on pounds. (However, if you are severely underweight, be in the care of your doctor while you're doing this, please.)
I'm not here to tell you to follow my method either. What I am saying is that I'd like to see Diet Survivors members find their own food-wisdom so you can become truly free of rules, restrictions, and dependencies on other people just to know how to eat! The goal is to become a rational eater.
So read the books about non-dieting and normal eating, but then see if the suggestions really appeal to your inner food wisdom, okay? That's all I'm saying.
And don't let legalizing all foods mean you are once again throwing your intellect down the drain.
Legalizing all foods is a side act. What we're about here is allowing all foods to be acceptable in small, delicious, perfect amounts. And it's about returning to a balance of carbs, protein, veggies, and sweets at each meal so that our blood sugar doesn't go wacko. And it's about rational eating.
So wait until dessert time to have dessert.
And consider reading my book along with the others. You won't hear me telling you in my book to go on a free-for-all with your eating.
With love, Linda Moran
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Are you trying to eat "healthier"? What does that really mean?
The nutrition experts tell us to eat more fish and less red meat. I'd have to agree that this is a good idea, but of course only if you like fish!
Some folks, no matter what they do, won't ever like fish. And there's no point in forcing yourself. But I have a theory that many more people would eat fish if they prepared it the way I do.
Think about this: what do we do to ourselves when we decide to prepare the virtuous fish for our family? We get into this mindset that tonight we're having a "healthy" meal. Therefore, we must preserve its low fat content! We bake or broil it bare, maybe with just a little lemon added, and then expect our family to eat it.
Well of course it's not as good that way. Fish is meant, in my opinion, to have a little extra fat added. Us meat-eating families are not used to adding fats because meats have sufficient fat for optimum taste. And the diet industry has brainwashed us into not adding fats. (So we go out to eat, where it's out of sight and out of mind.) Fish needs a little doctoring, whether it's at a seafood restaurant or at home.
When I make swordfish, I broil it with butter and lime juice drizzled over the top. Or you can serve your fish with good old fashioned tartar sauce on the side, like our grandmothers used to serve.
My kids eat those ready-prepared fish sticks that are deep-fried in batter. Not the greatest, because I think they have partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, but kids are pretty hard to please. At least hubby and I avoid the partially hydrogenated vegetable oil. And the kids are getting the fish underneath all that batter.
But what's so wrong with a dot of butter on your filet of sole for heaven's sake? If you're in the gray area, and think you might like fish after all, try it again, without the "this must follow the healthy-food rules" mindset.
How about eating fish because it's delicious? Don't know how to cook it? Dig out an old fashioned cookbook (not a diet cookbook) and check out the possibilities.
Don't like fish no matter what? Get out those old cookbooks and start legalizing other recipes that once were taboo.
With love, Linda Moran
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Are you learning to eat normally? It can help to mimic a normal eater.
The other day for breakfast, I couldn't make up my mind whether I wanted the leftover potato from dinner with my over-medium egg, or a bowl of instant oatmeal with the egg. Ordinarily, I would pick one or the other and be done with it. That's because I've always been a person who for four years, since my food issue days, is still not very able to waste food.
After all, if I chose all three - one fried egg, one bowl of instant oatmeal with half and half on it, and one potato, that would be too much food for breakfast (along with my oj.) But my body really wanted all those choices at the same time, so I went for it this time.
For some reason, after four years of being careful not to take too much food, I knew that day that I wouldn't overeat and that I would be able to toss out what I didn't want.
So I dug in. I cut up my potato into small pieces and let it mix with the yolk of my egg. I poured my usual half and half on my "maple and brown sugar" oatmeal, and savored that, eating mostly the bites with the most half and half on them. I sipped most of my oj, but not all.
When I was done, there was food leftover. There was a white part of the egg that I didn't want, and some of the oatmeal that was too dry. The potato was gone. A little oj was left.
Then I threw the rest away.
I don't know why, after four years of being a normal eater who doesn't waste, I am suddenly able to waste, but I suspect it was something that was said on the Diet Survivors message board a few weeks ago that just finally clicked for me. I don't remember exactly what it was, though.
I will never, of course, go out of my way to waste. I learned from my parents not to be wasteful and that's not going to change. But if we ever have another Great Depression, and food becomes scarce, I also won't overeat just so that food won't get wasted. How silly of us all to have learned the wrong lesson about wasting!
If we really embrace this idea of tiny portions for ourselves, and two bites of egg get wasted, I mean really, how much waste IS that? It's a much bigger waste to eat enormous amounts of food every day.
With love, Linda Moran
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. When you want something sweet, do you reach for the evil peanut butter cup, or the overwhelming but virtuous nectarine? There's a third alternative.
Those perfect yellow pears and plump oranges turned weary in their wicker basket which I’d placed so lovingly on the table each day. Even with four hungry kids in the house, the fruit just didn’t get eaten, not even by me. None of us would pick up a juicy apricot and munch away. Instead, it would land in the garbage a week later, all shriveled. I even stopped trying sometimes.
But then I had an idea. Why not legalize eating just one slice? I battled with myself a bit, thinking that if we did crave only one bite, the rest of the fruit would have to be tossed. Which did I want more, to get Vitamin C and antioxidants into my family, or to waste no part of the peach? With a little mind-trickery, I decided that the one slice is the part I had paid for. The remainder of the fruit was free with my purchase of the slice. Therefore, I reasoned, I wasn’t wasting.
It worked. We all love fruit now. Any time someone wants, they can have one slice. Of course for our large family, this means sometimes the entire apricot does get completely consumed at a meal, but not always. Often enough, one person has a slice and they're done. But even then, that individual sometimes decides on a second, or even third slice, or they might even end up eating the entire fruit themselves.
It's amazing what a sharp knife in the drawer can do for your family's health. And is it worth all the slicing? You bet. Now we have marathon kiwi cutting sessions, in which I’ll serve up seven or eight kiwis to my hungry brood. And that includes my husband, plate in hand, as eager as the rest.
But here's one more discovery: ever have those days when you waffle over the good and the evil? "Should I have the apple or the peanut butter cup?" As non-dieters, who needs that pressure between good and evil? Besides, aren't all foods "good"? (This is where, in my opinion, the legalizing breaks down because everyone secretly knows 'tis better to have the fruit.)
Well, how about a little piece of chocolate AND a little slice of fruit? Try this. Unwrap that peanut butter cup (try and buy the miniature ones or else expect to eat only a partial one.) Put it on your plate. Then slice your favorite, succulent, perfectly ripe fruit, and add it to the plate (far from the candy so the juice doesn't make a mess.) Then savor both, a tiny bite at a time. Delicious!
Then throw away any remaining candy, and the rest of the fruit. Alternatively, you can wrap up the remaining fruit in a ziploc, but only for use later that day. If it's still in the fridge tomorrow, toss it. (Don't slice ahead of time. Wrap the remaining three-quarters of the fruit whole.)
Do you realize that our fear of wasting doesn't just make us overeat? It also pressures us into avoiding fruit because most of us don't want the whole fruit. We just want a taste.
Legalize fruit-cutting today. Legalize tossing out most of the fruit. And give your fruit permission to share its plate with something evil and sweet.
With love, Linda Moran
P.S. Here's another combination -- a slice of fruit and a little chunk of cheese. Yum!
Need some inspiration today to help you on your path of recovery from disordered eating?
Do you believe in looking for signs? Use your favorite search engine to type in your worst nagging food problem right now, along with the words "Diet Survivors."
If you're looking for just the nugget of wisdom you need, you'll likely find it, just by digging around in your search results. Then embrace and ponder your nugget today. This method of seeking recovery is not to be underestimated.
Whatever you find, consider it to have appeared there just for you.
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Do you struggle with your body image? Reparent yourself!
As many of you know, I'm not all that big on the probing kind of therapy that delves into your childhood. Why? Because it takes a lot of time. We can often more simply accept that we learned some tools in childhood that helped us cope which now need to be replaced. Then we can focus on new tools instead of unraveling our home of origin. It's our thinking now that's the problem.
But I'm not black and white about it, either. Some things we learned as children are very hard to change unless we realize just what we didn't get first. Moreover, to discard what we were taught by those who loved us feels a little disloyal. It can even require a bit of re-parenting.
A case in point - in my home of origin, I was taught that, being a girl, I was not terribly smart or capable, and that certain areas of interest were not open to me. I believed them, right into adulthood. This was a struggle for years, since I was very smart and, as it turns out, have a natural bent toward technical work, which was a no-no. Today I am a web programmer (I just pretend I'm a Diet Survivors moderator.)
It took years and years for me to even believe that I could use a screwdriver and an alen wrench to assemble a children's toy. I don't hold anything against those who taught me--it used to be common for women to learn helplessness and to rely on the men in their lives, and those who raised me didn't know any better.
But STILL it took me a long time to discard what I learned. So I found others who overcame this, and I allowed them to tell me I was capable. I also told myself that I was capable, and that what I was taught by folks who loved me was simply a mistake. In a sense, I REPARENTED myself in this area. Yes I know, it's a bit new-age-y sounding for me, but it really did help.
Then, as it turns out, I married someone who doesn't like to fix or assemble things. So guess who is the family repairman today? Little old me. Back in April I did a seven hour assembly job on a special-needs bicycle carrier for my son. And one of my daughters is now learning the trade of assembling stuff. (The other daughter could care less, but it's her choice! She knows she's capable.)
I no longer question my abilities in ANY area. I now know for certain that I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to. It's all a matter of what interests me. My perception of myself went from nitwit to total self-confidence. This was quite a big leap.
Now here's what I'm getting at. That same family of origin that told me I was inept always told me I was pretty. I believed them. Hence, no body image problem.
I have observed folks struggling mightily with their body image the way I struggled with my capabilities. Is it because of what they were told when they were children? For some, yes. Can their body image move from ugly duckling to stunning beauty, the way my self-perception went from nitwit to intellectual? Yes, I believe it can!
I recommend reparenting yourself if you were given negative messages about your looks. Accept that those who told you otherwise about your beauty were mistaken. (Can people who love you be mistaken? Absolutely.) Find others who've overcome this. Perhaps there's somebody on the Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board who found a good body image for themselves after some struggle? Let us know! You could be a good model for others. Find friends who understand and are willing to tell you how nice-looking you are.
Ultimately it will come down to your decision. Which is it? Are you a beauty or aren't you? Beauty, remember, is in the eye of the beholder.
So ponder this question today. Are you a beauty or aren't you? Yes it's a black and white question. All folks (both men and women) deserve to think highly of their looks.
My son David is not the only one of my four children who is "different." I actually have three children with
something "different" about them. I once wrote a true story about them and their self-image.
The story was published in the March 2004 issue of Exceptional Parent magazine (a magazine for parents and professionals in the disability community). To read it, click here:
With love, Linda Moran
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Are you learning how to non-diet? Need some eating tips?
Those of you who have read my book know that my influence was Gwen Shamblin, author of the "Weigh Down Diet." Hers is a Christian-based book, just so you know.
Although Gwen and I may have minor differences in how we view non-dieting, we agree on all the important stuff. What I find especially delightful on her website is her eating tips. Gwen's a gal who really knows how to have a good time. I say this over and over -- I will always be grateful to Gwen for what she did for me.
Read Gwen's eating tips. Then maybe ponder how you currently eat. See if one thing about her eating jumps out at you -- maybe something you'd like to try.
With love, Linda Moran
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Do you have binge eating disorder and you're trying to fade away the binges?
So you had a binge. They're getting fewer and further apart, and you're stopping them sooner. But the reality is that you just overate. Now what? To send a signal to your mind and body that the binge is over, there are some things you can do, and the first two are entirely counter-intuitive, so listen carefully.
First, eat some more! Not a lot, but a tiny amount of protein. Have a chicken leg or a glass of milk or a single slice of cheese. The protein will help temper a sugar surge and will have staying power.
Second, put your faith in the protein food! I know, I know. I don't ususally tell folks to put their faith in some external rule or device. But a little helpful superstition is appropriate at this very vulnerable time. So trust that the protein food will help end the binge.
Third, go make a major change, if possible, in your physical status or environment, such as go outdoors and walk up and down the block or take a bath or change your clothes (something loose and comfortable). One or more of these actions will help further the idea that the binge is over.
Fourth, drink water. You are now, no doubt, a bit dehydrated. You may not have room in your tummy for big gulps, but little sips will do nicely. Keep sipping.
And lastly, SMILE, and remember...you're fading away the binges. You were sensible at the end, and you're gaining control. Focus on the positive, and remember that nobody ends binge eating disorder overnight.
Often folks feel too much remorse, and they analyze all the details of why they binged so they can avoid such circumstances in the future. But this is not helpful. Instead, just say to yourself, "I binged because I felt stress. Stress is part of life. Emotions cause stress. I forgot that I can tolerate stress. I'd strongly prefer in the future to remember this."
With love, Linda Moran
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Are you a compulsive overeater or a compulsive dieter and trying to kick the diet habit?
Conventional wisdom tells us it takes about seven weeks to form a new habit. But according to Brian Tracy, one of the world's leading authorities on personal and business success, it's even shorter--about two to three weeks! This means it may not take you long at all to become a normal eater--far shorter than it will take for the pounds to melt away.
Whichever number you believe, it doesn't take a heck of a long time to form a new habit. Tracy outlines some general characteristics you'll need, though, in order to be successful:
One caveat -- for those of you with binge eating disorder, you may become a normal eater in just a few weeks, but be patient about the binges. It may take several months to fade them away. The goal with binges is for the time between each one to stretch longer and longer.
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Have you tried every way to lose weight but to no avail? Maybe there's one approach you overlooked.
You've eaten on meal plans, counted calories, removed entire food groups, forced yourself to exercise, ingested diet pills, and followed dozens of food rules such as don't eat within two hours of bedtime. What haven't you tried?
How about your intellect? Sensibilities? Grandmother-wisdom? Perhaps this isn't obvious, but surrendering your wisdom was part of the problem, not part of the solution.
Intellectuals are not bookworms, and they're not folks with advanced degrees. Intellectuals are ordinary people who've decided that they know how to think (and regardless of whether mother told them otherwise).
Read more about intellectuals in my book, How to Survive Your Diet. It's available online for free in PDF format. If you have Adobe Acrobat, you can view it. If you don't, Adobe Acrobat reader is available free online for download.
See pages 68 and 122 of my book to find out what I think about intellectuals and who can be one. (Hint -- my son who has Down syndrome is more of an intellectual than plenty of brainy people I know.) Here's the link: (give it a minute to load after you click)
How to Survive Your Diet and Conquer Your Food Issues Forever
With love, Linda Moran
The Rules of Normal Eating is a delightful book by non-dieting expert Karen R. Koenig.
But what do we mean by rules? Do non-dieters really need to learn new rules to replace their old ones? Yes and no. There are harsh, arbitrary dieting edicts, and there are rules grounded in wisdom. You can guess which kind of rules you'd find in Koenig's book. Hint -- she uses a cognitive therapy approach.
Today, ponder the wisdom type of rules which you systematically learned to ignore, and now are re-learning. Some of them are instinctive; others are passed down from one healthy generation to the next. Still others are about reaching within to your own appetite and sensibilities.
Even as you get help in re-learning the rules of normal eating, consider that you are also re-learning to exercise your own filters. From now on, sift everything you hear and read about eating through your own intellect. Never again will you have to become a slave to someone else's opinions.
For many of you, this translates into choosing who to listen to for now. Some of you have chosen a mishmash of two or three non-dieting "leaders." That's great. But prepare to go a step further. Ponder today that every one of those "leaders" will say something at some point that just doesn't fit for you. They might even suggest something that would be harmful for you. Can they still continue to help you after that?
Sure, as long as you have those filters in place. (Read--be ready to NOT throw the baby out with the bath water when that day comes, which would only be more black and white thinking.)
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Do you know how to dissect your food? It's fun! I'll tell you how.
In Gwen Shamblin's book "The Weigh Down Diet," she teaches her readers how to dissect their food. Here's what you do:
When you sit down to eat, pick out the best parts first. Overlook any dried-up green beans or anything burnt. If you like the buttered part of the bread, eat that first. Never save the best for last (except dessert.) Set aside any fries that don't look exactly right or don't appear to have enough salt on them or look soggy.
If a cheeseburger on a roll is too big for you, expect to leave the worst parts. If you want more of the burger than the roll, pick off parts of the roll and pile them on your plate as you eat. If one part has no ketchup, add more ketchup, or squirt some ketchup on your plate and then dip! Be artful.
As you think you might be getting full, slow down, and start eating more miniscule bits, such as picking off the sesame seeds from the bun and eating those. By slowing down, you're getting in touch with your fullness sensor. This would be a good time to stop if you think you will have a bite or two of dessert.
What will be leftover at the end of the meal is a small pile of rubble. Gwen says she doesn't get invited out to eat much, due to her dissecting habit! LOL!
With love, Linda Moran
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Would you like a copy of my non-dieting book, How to Survive Your Diet and Conquer Your Food Issues Forever for free? I'll tell you how.
Here's how to find a complete PDF file of my book, How to Survive Your Diet and Conquer Your Food Issues Forever.
I have placed a link to it on the Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board, and you don't even have to be a member of the group to view it. (I have replaced the Google Print version with this totally viewable PDF file.)
Once you click on the above link and are viewing the home page of the Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board, look for "LINKS" on the left side. Click on "LINKS." You'll find a list of FREE stuff, which includes a PDF version of my book. Click on the link to the PDF file, and you'll be viewing my book. Nice, huh? (Be patient while it's loading. Adobe Acrobat is kind of slow.)
By the way, PDF files require Adobe Acrobat to view them, but you can find and download Adobe Acrobat for free on the web if you don't already have it.
Many writers make their living or earn extra needed cash on the side by writing. It's an honorable living. In fact, I am also a freelancer for magazines, and do get paid. So why am I making my book available for free?
I know that many of you have already poured hundreds or even thousands down the drain on diets, memberships, special foods, and five different sizes of clothes. I'd like you to not have to spend any more money if you don't want to. It would be great if you wanted to buy my book, but I want you to have a choice.
In trade for this free offer, I only ask that you consider (not required) writing a review on my book page on amazon.com. Anyone can write a review of a book, and you do not have to have bought the book on amazon in order to write the review. So if you like the book, I would appreciate a review.
Well then, where's today's meditation in all this? The entire book is meant to be journaled, savored (like your food), and meditated upon. So if you plan to read the free version, I suggest you print it on your printer and put it in some kind of nice binding. Then write all over it as you read!
With love, Linda Moran
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Are you sick of dieting? Are you tired of all the rules? You are not alone.
When making any adaptive change in your life, it's helpful to have a vision. You can even try and imagine WHEN you will be able to declare yourself a normal eater.
Some say they'll be a normal eater when they can leave food on their plate. Others say they'll be a normal eater when they slow down their eating. Still others say they'll be a normal eater when they don't wake up and eat at night. Some say it's when they haven't binged for a year. Some say it's when they go back to living their lives and don't feel the need for support anymore.
Notice that you don't have to hit your goal weight in order to declare yourself a normal eater. That's because becoming a normal eater isn't about the weight, although that's a nice outcome over the long run. And you don't have to have it all figured out. Some thin folks who've been normal eaters since birth occasionally have to figure things out and they even eat for emotional reasons once in a while.
Then what is normal eating really all about? It's about learning to be reasonable about food MOST OF THE TIME. It's a question of degree. It's about learning how to embrace stress and resist overeating.
Given your own reasoning and knowing your own path, when do you predict you'll be a normal eater? A year from now? In a few months? You know yourself well. Your best guess will likely turn out to be accurate! But don't turn it into a deadline! Former dieters suffer from too much self-inflicted pressure to begin with.
What will it take for YOU to think of yourself as a normal eater? Everyone will be different on this. Some day soon you will reach the DEGREE of normalcy you think is appropriate to say you are a normal eater. That will be a day of celebration.
When you do, please announce it on the board! And of course let us in on your steps along the way.
Are you close to becoming a normal eater? Is it hard to believe that you can become one? Believe it. There's no magic here. Just fading out the binge-eating slowly, applying reasonableness, learning hunger and fullness, learning to think in shades of gray, legalizing foods you like, learning to eat sensibly, and learning to trust your own inner book of food wisdom. But that's all. EVERYONE HERE CAN LEARN THESE THINGS!
With love, Linda Moran
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Are you sick of dieting? Are you tired of all the rules? You are not alone.
Dieters tend to focus on external change, also called technical change. Rules such as "never eat cereal before going to bed" are arbitrary rules that distract, and may even be in opposition to what your body really needs. In fact, the entire goal of "saving calories" may make matters worse rather than better.
Other technical changes really are helpful, such as imitating thin people and how they eat. But either way, dieters and even non-dieters often somehow overlook the more important kind of change, which is called adaptive change. Adaptive changes are more internal, and tend to be more about how we think.
Successful non-dieting requires adaptive change, although some technical changes are helpful too. Read about the difference between technical and adaptive change as they pertain to non-dieting.
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Do you think you may have night eating syndrome? You are not alone.
Many folks have found our free newsletter and message board by typing "night eating syndrome" into their favorite search engine. They're desperate for relief.
Night eating syndrome is a puzzling phenomenon for dieters and non-dieters alike, who feel that they've been "good" all day, but then the refrigerator seems to call them in the middle of the night. What is night eating syndrome?
The research seems to show, so far, that it means many things and it can have a variety of causes or triggers. Only the external symptoms are the same -- getting up in the middle of the night to eat. Read about Gloria, who has night eating syndrome.
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Are you recovering from compulsive exercise? You are not alone.
You run five miles to burn off a milkshake. You overeat, and then say, "It's okay, I'll dance it off." You force yourself to spend an hour at the gym every day just so you can "eat what you want."
Or perhaps it's even worse. You might be an exercise bulimic. This means you binge eat often, and then you exercise vigorously in response to the binge.
The DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Volume 4) provides guidelines and criteria for mental disorders. According to the DSM IV, exercise bulimia is a disorder. It falls under the same category as Bulimia Nervosa.
Whether you are an exercise bulimic, or just addicted to exercise, your family's schedule revolves around your exercise, and you constantly feel as though it's all about to slip out of control. What if I get sick, you wonder. But I CAN'T take a day off to be with loved ones. I HAVE TO burn those calories.
You might even be keeping it all hidden and under enough control that your weight looks normal. Nobody knows that your life is consumed by exercise, and you're starting to panic. I can't live this way much longer! you want to shout.
What has happened here? You've created an exercise trap for yourself, and you can't even get help or sympathy because exercise is good, right? Other folks admire your persistence.
What's really going? Below the surface of what looks like a healthy habit are some pretty distorted beliefs and self-talk. Read about Beth, a compulsive exerciser.
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Are you a stress eater? You are not alone. This blog is a companion to the free
Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter.
Stress is everywhere, and cannot be avoided. Did you know that? If you're like many former dieters, you started your diets only when your life was low stress. Only when circumstances were ideal. Only when there were few triggers for stress eating.
It's no wonder your diet failed. These moments of low stress in life are few and far between! There's another way to look at stress, though, and it's about adjusting your beliefs regarding stress.
Read about what happened to Eduardo, a stress eater.
Welcome to the non-diet weblog. Are you an emotional overeater? You are not alone. This blog is a companion to the free
Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter.
"I eat for emotional reasons." Have you heard yourself say that? But did you know that everyone is an emotional eater to some degree? In fact, weight issues have everything to do with the degree to which you overeat, and the degree of your distorted thinking, rather than whether or not you overeat.
For someone with no other eating issues, if they occasionally overeat in response to uncomfortable emotions, they do not fret about it, and do not binge in response. As a result, their weight remains reasonable.
But if you are already caught up in the world of dieting, and you've developed some rigid rules about good foods/bad foods, or dieting/not dieting, it's too easy to say, "Oh, now I've gone and overeaten again. I might as well binge." Then the binge, which has an allure of its own, begins.
Now that we see that it's futile to completely stop eating for emotional reasons, let's add that it's just as futile to try and chase away all emotions in your life. You don't want to stop living, do you? The joys in life come from the emotional risks, and the ups and downs of being fully involved. This means you'll have uncomfortable feelings at times.
Then what to do? There is another way, and it's about embracing the idea that emotions are uncomfortable and that nobody promised you they wouldn't be. It's about realizing that you can, indeed, tolerate emotions and the stress of emotions. It's also about learning to avoid fretting about it when you do occasionally overeat a bit.
Read about Christina, an emotional overeater
