Diet Survivors: September 2007 Archives
This entry is written by a guest writer. It has an edge to it, but I like it. The writer makes a good point about over-pridefulness in healthy eating. Here it is, reprinted with permission from Joanne Press:
I was just hit with this thought after reading Linda’s September 10th blog entry on validation. Linda mentioned that perhaps people who overeat or binge are looking for validation from others or in general and that food gives it to them.
Well, I think there is another kind of validation that food brings about.
Some people get a lot of validation out of the fact that they eat healthy. So much so that they look in other shoppers’ grocery carts and sneer. Then they feel “sanctified” because non of “that garbage” is in their carts.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. What’s wrong with eating healthfully? In the age of the obesity epidemic shouldn’t these people be applauded?
Well, there’s nothing wrong with eating healthfully. People SHOULD try to eat healthfully . However, I don’t think they should be applauded, either.
Really, is it THAT important? I mean, the same people may make remarks about how people shouldn’t need food for comfort, etc. etc. or even that food addiction is a pile of BS. Isn’t what they’re doing kind of the same? Are you really better than someone because you have more produce in your cart? What if the “slob with the poor diet” just came off a 2 day shift in the emergency room?
What if the biogeneticist likes to have a cookie from time to time?
What are these people really looking for? Some wee bit of satisfaction or attention that they’re not getting from somewhere else? The need to feel important? Validation, perhaps?
What would these people do in times of disaster? What if the only food at the Red Cross was, gasp! Ramen noodles! What? No organic produce?
Seems kind of similar to what someone who is overweight is accused of using food for?
Now, you might be thinking to yourself reading this. Well. You’re just a jealous fatty who can’t put the Ding Dongs down.
I’m not. As a matter of fact, I’m a recovering from food issues of my own, anorexia, exercise bulimia and the subsequent binge eating from it.
Not that my size should matter. I’m a fit, healthy lady who likes to workout.
I guess I just don’t understand the preoccupation with what others do…
Does the above resonate with you? If so, feel free to discuss it on the Diet Survivors message board. I think this was my favorite line, "What if the biogeneticist likes to have a cookie from time to time? "
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Do you seek validation on an ongoing basis?Too sensitive and shaky to be self-accepting? You're not alone.
Diet Survivors members report seeking validation as a reason for their overeating. They're in an endless state of seeking validation, which they get little of, and in the meantime, they eat.
Overeating serves to keep us from facing ourselves, from living with our errors and failures.
This kind of overeating is a distraction, and may not include stuffing to the point of numbness. Rather, it's just something to do.
Does your validation-seeking keep you from doing other productive things? The problem is not that you're not good enough or that you make too many mistakes.
The problem is that you're awfully hard on yourself. If you're a go-getter like me, that means you take social risks. But if you're then seeking affirmation, you might find yourself frustrated much of the time, and want to overeat to district yourself while waiting for the ever-elusive validation.
Validation is fine, and it's good for us to select friends carefully so we get some of that, but is it tolerable not to be affirmed and validated every time you make a move? Have you been believing you can't tolerate lack of validation? It's time to rethink.
Consider this today--decide whether you would like to learn to live with yourself, in the moment, right in the middle of realizing you've possibly made yet another mistake. The fiftieth one this week.
Can living with yourself and without validation become your norm? We all make those fifty mistakes, by the way, but in a day, not a week.
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How to Survive Your Diet.
In the twelve-step rooms (such as AA) they talk about "taking a geographic." What they mean by that is the addicted person might mistakenly believe that by moving to a new home or city and starting over, he can leave his troubles behind. In general, taking a geographic is viewed as detrimental to recovery.
But there's a flip side to taking a geographic, a more positive one. You can take a mental geographic to get your perspective back.
Less often than we'd like, my husband and I take a trip to our local Barnes and Noble. We find a cute little cafe table for two, and just talk.
Something about the bookstore gives us a worldly feel, nearly as good as the perspective one often gains from taking a real trip to a foreign land.
As I packed for a trip recently, I thought of how helpful it can be to get a bird's eye perspective.
Often, when I'm getting into one of my fits of anxiety over my children's safety or something that's not right in their schools, I just remember the bigger picture: twenty years ago, all I wanted out of life was a hubby and a family. That's the bigger picture, and I remember that my dreams have indeed come true. Is everything perfect in my life? Of course not. But the bigger picture is more aligned with reality than the annoying day-to-day details.
There's nothing like a little mental geographic to get our perspectives back. Take a mental geographic today. Get a bird's eye view of your life.
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How to Survive Your Diet.
Repeat after me (it's easy): Hershey's Kiss. Did I say Hershey's Kisses? No I didn't. Say it again.
Hershey's Kiss.
Just one. Is it hard to speak about one Hershey's Kiss?
Anyone reading this blog probably knows what it means to think in all or nothing terms when it comes to weight loss. This "all or nothing thinking" is also referred to as "black and white thinking."
You've probably had seasons in your life when you ate no Hershey's Kisses, and you also avoided any other kind of food that you considered to be evil.
You may also have had times in your life when you ate the whole bag.
It's not entirely your fault. The diet industry seems to contribute to this all or nothing, diet or binge, kind of thinking.
But to become a normal eater, in which you learn to sense your hunger and fullness, and discover the joy of small portions of real, delicious food, then you'll need to think in terms of:
One Hershey's Kiss
Okay, maybe two.
Don't trust yourself? That's not a reason not to learn normal eating. Instead, it's a reason to undo some distorted thinking.
See below for how to join a free support group.
Click on the book cover for more information
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Diet Survivors meditations
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Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How
to Survive Your Diet
Thanks to http://candyaddict.com for the picture.
