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Can you really quit dieting? And what does that mean?
Did you know that people without emotional problems can actually go on a diet, lose weight, then eat sensibly? In other words, they can diet successfully. But how many people do you know without emotional problems? Very few.
And then there are the rest of us. If we're lucky, we wake up and realize one day that dieting isn't working for us.
Each of us h as different problems with diets, but see if you recognize yourself somewhere in this list. Here are a few things it could mean to quit dieting:
To quit dieting means:
To stop following your plan.
To quit attending your diet group.
To stop sneaking food at night.
To stop trying to "be good" in public.
To stop altering what's in your food.
To stop incessantly weighing yourself.
To stop counting calories or points in your head while watching your kid's baseball game.
To stop feeling deprived.
To stop feeling the need to binge.
To stop putting your life on hold until you lose "the weight."
Sound Too Good to be True?
The hardest thing about quitting the diet life is the grief over lost time. Grieving requires some courage.
Find your courage today. Learn about normal eating. But first free yourself from the diet mentality. Quit now. Go "cold turkey."
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How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
What exactly is normal eating, anyway? Is it a new plan? Where are the instructions?
Whether we call it normal eating or intuitive eating or non-dieting doesn't matter. The reason we're all here is because diets didn't work for us.
Normal eating, then, is first and foremost a surrender. To borrow from substance abuse meetings such as Alcoholics Anonymous: "We admitted we were powerless over diets--that our lives had become unmanageable."
To start simply, a normal eater ditches all the diet food, replacing it with real food, and learns to eat when hungry and stop when full.
And now I present to you some objections your own mind could be conjuring up right now:
1. But I don't trust myself. I'll binge all day and all night.
2. But I need a plan to follow.
3. But I'm too afraid I'll gain more weight.
4. But I won't know how to act around relatives. They'll think I've lost my discipline.
5. But when I'm eating, I know no end. I won't know when to stop.
6. But food meets many of my needs. I won't be able to cope emotionally.
7. But food is my best friend. Now you're telling me to lose my best friend.
8. But I'll feel guilty if I eat delicious food.
These objections, and many more, fall into the category of faulty beliefs. These are the beliefs that drive what we actually do in spite of what we say we're going to do.
And therein lies the rest of the work--in addressing the faulty beliefs. In fact, to become a normal eater, you'll follow two paths at once.
Path One:
Learning what it means to sense your hunger and sense your fullness.
Learning what a reasonable portion size is for you.
Learning to approximate a reasonable portion size using your own intuition.
Learning to enjoy food again.
Path Two:
This path is about addressing all those objections. Your internal objections, your beliefs about weight diet and body image, and your worries and fears are actually faulty beliefs.
But don't worry. You're not alone. Every human being is hampered by some kind of faulty beliefs. Yours are about food and diets.
As you follow this journey with help from maybe a book or two, and perhaps a good message board to share with fellow journeyers, you can address each of these faulty beliefs as they come into your conscious mind.
You will learn to examine each one, look for any basis in reality, then adjust your belief to something closer to reality. For example, the fact that you don't trust yourself is understandable, but does this mean you'll never be able to trust yourself? When you realize you don't know the answer to this, new possibilities open up, don't they?
See if you can put your objections on hold for just a little while, and bask in this new idea that diets don't work for you and therefore probably never will. Get used to the idea that you are no longer a dieter, but rather, a person surrendering the whole notion of dieting. Then ponder what's around the corner. It's good stuff.
Click on the book cover for more information
Normal Eating solutions: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
Have you ever thought about the centrality of meals to all of life? Even important business meetings sometimes center around coffee and donuts, or a restaurant meal. 
When we were all dieting, back in the bad old days, what made us think we could extract food from the rest of our lives? Eat different foods from those around us? Weigh and measure it? What were we thinking?
It's a mistake to vilify the importance of food. There's no getting away from eating as a social activity, and there's no need to, either.
The only diet tool I've ever seen that really works in all settings is eating small amounts and stopping when eighty percent full.
No matter where you are, you can do that. Yes I know that at your Italian mother-in-law's house, there's some pressure to eat big amounts, but you can learn to push food around on your plate, break the big wad of Italian bread in half, and cover everything with a napkin.
When questioned, say, "It was delicious. But I just couldn't eat that much." Then resist the pressure. (A nod to Gwen Shamblin for this suggestion.)
Sometimes it's other people that have to get over it, not you. But at least you're not insisting on skim milk for your coffee or sugar-free shrimp cocktail sauce. In other words, of all the diet demands made on dinner hosts nowadays, requiring only small portions is the kindest of them.
Click on the book cover for more information
Normal Eating solutions: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
People come to the Diet Survivors message board to learn how to quit dieting. When said aloud, that sounds a little contradictory, doesn't it? Don't people try to diet, rather than try not to?
We've had years of drill in the belief that diets are good. Diets solve a problem. Diets are healthy.
But they don't and they're not. Instead, for many of you, diets are a sort of psychological addiction. They're a roller coaster you keep thinking you should be on. If you're lucky, someone points out, or you figure out on your own, that the diet life could be a problem rather than an answer. Maybe, just maybe, you dare to question the roller coaster. Maybe you want to get off.
Then you learn about intuitive eating, either on the Diet Survivors message board, or from any of a number of good books. This alternative way of eating is also known as non-dieting or normal eating. It's about finding your hunger signals, eating only until gently full, and then waiting for hunger signals again. It's about eating normal, delicious food.
Sounds great, right? So why is it that some of you "go back out there" and diet again? For the same reasons that alcoholics leave AA, and try drinking again. They're used to it, it gives them some kind of thrill. It's an ingrained way of life. In the case of dieters, their diets give them some sense of control and order, as deceiving as it may be.
But the news is good for alcoholics. There's a slogan they have in Alcoholics Anonymous that goes like this "A.A. ruins your drinking."
Sure enough, for many, they learn about the sober world, they learn about new ways to cope with their feelings, they learn about themselves, and most importantly, they sober up enough to realize all the shameful, embarrasing, neglectful, self-abusing things they've done.
For those folks, going "back out there" once or twice is the most sobering act of all -- their drinking is no fun anymore. They don't get that old thrill back when they drink. They come back to their meetings with a new revelation: "A.A. has ruined my drinking." This time, they really want to be in A.A.
The same goes for dieters whov'e had a taste of abstinence from overeating, feeling their real feelings, and eating normal, delicous food. Whether they've lost weight that way or not, they've had a glimpse of normal living. But then the lure of the diet world returns, and they "go back out there" and diet again. Once or twice.
But the thrill is gone. From day one, they've already lost their enthusiasm for tasteless salads and rigid regimens. They're already aware that they eat when they don't want to feel their feelings. They already have some idea of how to wait for hunger and find their fullness. They're more aware than ever that their dieting parnters talk of nothing but food and calories and weight loss. It's a dull roar, and they're sick of it.
Normal eating has ruined their dieting. After "going back out there" once or twice, and trying dieting again, they realize it's no fun anymore. Even if they do lose a pound or two, they know what's around the corner as they stare down at their feet on the scale. They know they'll have a rebound soon, and that next they will become depressed. It's a familiar dance. They last one whole day on their new diet. They just have no tolerance anymore for dieting.
Finally, they are off the roller coaster permanently. They learn to eat normally as their new, permanent, way of life. They get some support to "keep it green."
"Keeping it green" is another A.A. slogan that means "don't forget how bad it was."
Diets may not be the same kind of addiction as alcohol addiction. Nonetheless, you know if you're hooked on dieiting. And you know when you're fed up.
Happily, there's now an alternative. Read a boook about normal eating today. Or join the free Diet Survivors message board to learn about how not to diet. You'll be relieved.
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How to Survive Your Diet.
Repeat after me (it's easy): Hershey's Kiss. Did I say Hershey's Kisses? No I didn't. Say it again.
Hershey's Kiss.
Just one. Is it hard to speak about one Hershey's Kiss?
Anyone reading this blog probably knows what it means to think in all or nothing terms when it comes to weight loss. This "all or nothing thinking" is also referred to as "black and white thinking."
You've probably had seasons in your life when you ate no Hershey's Kisses, and you also avoided any other kind of food that you considered to be evil.
You may also have had times in your life when you ate the whole bag.
It's not entirely your fault. The diet industry seems to contribute to this all or nothing, diet or binge, kind of thinking.
But to become a normal eater, in which you learn to sense your hunger and fullness, and discover the joy of small portions of real, delicious food, then you'll need to think in terms of:
One Hershey's Kiss
Okay, maybe two.
Don't trust yourself? That's not a reason not to learn normal eating. Instead, it's a reason to undo some distorted thinking.
See below for how to join a free support group.
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How
to Survive Your Diet
Thanks to http://candyaddict.com for the picture.
Are you wondering if maybe you're the type who can't help being overweight? Perhaps you heard the news recently that obesity can be caused by a virus. In a CNN interview, a leading expert says "We're not saying that a virus is the only cause of obesity, but this study provides stronger evidence that some obesity cases may involve viral infections." And what about the genetic component?
You may be wondering if you've been doing all this work for nothing. But suppose it's true. Suppose you're prone to obesity. Should you go back on a restrictive diet?
Let's look at it from a practical standpoint. You're probably reading this blog because you've heard about normal eating and maybe you're already trying it. Maybe you belong to the Diet Survivors message board, or some other similar group to help you find hunger and fullness, and learn to eat intuitively. Perhaps you've read some Geneen Roth books or Karen R. Koenig's book The Rules of Normal Eating.
But it's feeling like you're not getting anywhere.
My guess is that you were somewhere else before you tried normal eating. Were you dieting? Restricting? Purging? Yo-yo-ing? Anorexic? Bulimic? Miserable?
You get my point. You weren't happy, so now you're trying something else. If you go back to chowing down on tasteless cardboard, will you do any better?
Many people lose weight when they finally ditch the diet and try normal eating. But some don't. If you accept that you might not lose weight, will you be any worse off than you were before?
For those of you who may be starting to think your chances of losing weight are limited, maybe it's time to think in a new way. Dare to consider this possibility: maybe you can find happiness nonetheless.
By ditching the diet life, and feeding yourself properly again with delicious food, you do have a shot at happiness. It will still take some mental and psychological work, though. Defying the critical judgment of outsiders isn't easy. No joy in life comes without some work, so accept that you'll have to hunker down a bit. It's still better than your old life, right? And as you learn to follow your hunger and fullness signals, you'll begin to really feel good about yourself.
There's hope, too. With more research, the world will soon begin to bend to this idea that maybe, just maybe, it's not your fault. Meanwhile, find others who understand. Join the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board.
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How
to Survive Your Diet
Although I think that diets often do us more harm than good, we're not here to make new hard and fast rules about how people should live.
Rather, this is what the Diet Survivors group is here for:
We're here to be intellectuals.
We're here to learn how to think for ourselves.
We're here to find our own inner food wisdom.
We're here to try a different kind of therapy--one that is more intellect-based than emotion-based.
We're here to find our autonomous selves.
We're here to find our rational selves.
Therefore, think about it. If someone on the Diet Survivors Yahoo! message board feels they need to return to the diet life, does this mean they don't belong in Diet Survivors anymore?
Here are some possible reasons why someone might return to dieting:
1. They're gaining weight, and this is upsetting to their goals
2. They're gaining weight, and this is dangerous for their health
3. They were addicted to the diet life, and still are
4. They are pressured by family or friends
5. Diets seem familiar and safe
6. Their doctor has advised them
Do any of these preclude a person from the path of finding more rational thinking, using the principles of cognitive therapy? Is anything contradictory here? I don't think so.
Look at it this way. Addressing and disrupting our faulty beliefs and self-talk is a lifelong process. They're about adaptive or internal change.
Everyone on God's green earth suffers from some faulty thinking. It's part of the human condition. It's often only
when we have something so dysfunctional in our lives, such as overeating and/or obesity, that we are forced to address our faulty thinking. That's just the way people are.
If you were to conclude that something you decide to do (that's defined as external, or technical change) contradicts something you choose to think (internal or adaptive change), I'd say you're thinking too black and white.
It's a good idea, if you're tempted to return to dieting, to examine your reasons, and just make sure you're thinking as soberly as you can.
That way, if it turns out you really were better off pursuing normal eating, you'll know it fairly quickly.
So why quit? I'd say for many of you, it's best to keep hanging around normal eating circles, especially Diet Survivors, even if you're embarking on another diet.
Diet Survivors is a particularly good choice, in my not-so-humble opinion, because you won't be condemned there just because you're seeking another route.
That's because, in the end, the goal of Diet Survivors is to encourage every person to find their autonomy again. To take back the reigns of your own eating life and learn to think for yourself regarding food and diets.
On the other hand, there are valid reasons to leave, too. Everyone is an individual. All are welcome to come and go as often as they please, and for any reason that they please.
Click on the book cover for more information
This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter.
Subscribe to the Diet Survivors newsletter.
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Don't you just love diet dressing?
I don't. But heck, to each his own. If you really prefer the stuff, go for it. But as for me, a satisfying salad has real dressing on it. Fat satisfies and it houses flavor. It's also good for your skin and organs.
So if you have a fear of real salad dressing, don't forget -- you're waiting until you're hungry and eating only until you're eighty percent full. You're doing successful portion control!
The reward? You can eat real food. In fact, eat only real food.
Click on the book cover for more information
This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter.
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
You're learning normal eating, which means you're learning to find your hunger and fullness signals. You're also learning more about your emotional eating. That's good.
As you venture down this road, you'll discover new sights and sounds. Nuances. Observations. Details.
Here's a detail: Is there a difference between everyday meals and special meals? I say yes.
Let's reason together on this. Food always has been, and likely always will be, a big part of culture and tradition. One of the many unfortunate side effects of diets is they take all the fun out of the culture. Let's put it back! Let's have special meals again.
Special meals include holidays, family events, a trip to a restaurant, and more. How do normal eaters handle special meals?
You know that waiting until you're hungry to eat is about finding the sweet spot, when you're good and hungry, but not starving and cranky. But the truth is that the sweet spot is a range.
If you're still new to finding your hunger signals, you might not be aware of the range yet. And you might not want to toy with getting overly hungry. So it's best to eat when you first become aware of hunger, especially if you're still prone to overeating when too hungry.
But if you're getting used to finding hunger and fullness, you might consider that you're ready to wait a little longer when it comes to a special meal.
Why do this? Special meals often offer foods you normally don't get to eat. You might like to "save up" your hunger, so that you can pack a little more in. After all, it's a celebration, right?
No one ever said you have to eat the same number of calories at every meal, every day, day in and day out. If you believe you must, it's a lie sold to you courtesy of the diet industry.
I know what you're thinking. "Is Linda saying it's okay to pig out at a restaurant?" Well, of course not. Do you think it makes sense to make your stomach hurt?
But as you become accustomed to food tasting better when you're good and hungry, you'll start to like finding hunger, and you'll especially like finding the hungriest end of your range when you're headed for a special meal. The rewards of doing so:
1. You'll be able to eat a little more, which is nice when you're in a venue with unusual foods.
2. You'll enjoy the hunger while anticipating the meal.
3. Getting especially hungry will help assign high value to the upcoming event.
4. The food will taste so good that it will be memorable. Food memories are part of culture too.
Click on the book cover for more information
This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter.
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Those of you who used to receive the Diet Survivors newsletter may know about the email disaster of last week. My host server went berserk, shipping dozens of emails, some blank, to a number of my customers. 
I'd been meaning to switch to Feedblitz anyway, and to shift my readers to the meditations format. But it ended up an emergency.
It was a hard week for everyone, and I lost some understandably irate subscribers. And as luck would have it, it happened on April Fool's Day. So while we're on the subject of April Fools, are there any ways in which you've fooled yourself regarding diets?
Fooling oneself is akin to wishful thinking. "Oh I wish I were thin and beautiful. Oh if only I didn't have this eating disorder. And maybe if I try just this one last food plan, it will work for me."
Did you know that this kind of self-talk actually contributes to eating dysfunction? Far from a cure, irrational and distorted self-talk leads us to make foolish and foolhardy decisions.
Whatever made us believe that we mustn't apply our rational, sober, intellectual minds to our eating, I'll never know. But it's what we need to do.
You see--diets, food plans, doctored food, even intuitive eating plans take away our autonomy and compromise our good judgment and sensibilities. For whatever reason, our bodies and minds seem to like it best when we give them plenty of room to make their own decisions.
That's not to say we must give in to binge eating. The insidious part of eating disorders is that it can be difficult to put nature right again.
It just takes time, and a commitment to restore your natural instincts, intuition, autonomy and good judgment. Even if your judgment was taken away when you were a young child, you can find it again. It's time to look within and open your own book of food wisdom. Did you know you have one? Ditch the diets and plans today.
And remember, it's not nice to fool mother nature.
(Have your own blog? Try Feedblitz for delivery.)
Click on the book cover for more information
This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter.
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
