Recently in Hunger and fullness Category
Do you putter? That's my way of cleaning around the house. A little here and a little here, with no real goal but to clean and tidy what's bugging me the most.
Once in a while, I go all out.
I didn't used to clean this way. I used to think I had to have a plan. I had to go room by room and be thorough.
But in reality, it meant I hardly ever cleaned at all. And I knocked myself out when I did clean, exhausted afterward.
Some people eat the way I used to clean. All or nothing. Binge or starve. Follow the plan. Use brute force to stick with it. Get depressed when you don't. Obsess.
Eating by puttering is normal. We try a bite here, and forkful there. We sometimes don't eat at all.
We eat according to whims, and according to our fancy. We eat by what's bugging us. Mostly we eat a little at a time, a bunch of small meals over the course of the day.
We eat sensibly. Just as we wouldn't use furniture polish on the windows, we don't eat dessert for dinner.
Once in a while, such as on holidays, we go all out.
Eating by puttering is normal eating.
If you do neither cleaning nor eating by puttering, pick one to start with, and then eventually use it to instruct you in how to do the other. Or start puttering both.
Puttering is sacred. Puttering is healthy. Eat by puttering.
Click on the book cover for more information
Normal Eating solutions: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
What exactly is normal eating, anyway? Is it a new plan? Where are the instructions?
Whether we call it normal eating or intuitive eating or non-dieting doesn't matter. The reason we're all here is because diets didn't work for us.
Normal eating, then, is first and foremost a surrender. To borrow from substance abuse meetings such as Alcoholics Anonymous: "We admitted we were powerless over diets--that our lives had become unmanageable."
To start simply, a normal eater ditches all the diet food, replacing it with real food, and learns to eat when hungry and stop when full.
And now I present to you some objections your own mind could be conjuring up right now:
1. But I don't trust myself. I'll binge all day and all night.
2. But I need a plan to follow.
3. But I'm too afraid I'll gain more weight.
4. But I won't know how to act around relatives. They'll think I've lost my discipline.
5. But when I'm eating, I know no end. I won't know when to stop.
6. But food meets many of my needs. I won't be able to cope emotionally.
7. But food is my best friend. Now you're telling me to lose my best friend.
8. But I'll feel guilty if I eat delicious food.
These objections, and many more, fall into the category of faulty beliefs. These are the beliefs that drive what we actually do in spite of what we say we're going to do.
And therein lies the rest of the work--in addressing the faulty beliefs. In fact, to become a normal eater, you'll follow two paths at once.
Path One:
Learning what it means to sense your hunger and sense your fullness.
Learning what a reasonable portion size is for you.
Learning to approximate a reasonable portion size using your own intuition.
Learning to enjoy food again.
Path Two:
This path is about addressing all those objections. Your internal objections, your beliefs about weight diet and body image, and your worries and fears are actually faulty beliefs.
But don't worry. You're not alone. Every human being is hampered by some kind of faulty beliefs. Yours are about food and diets.
As you follow this journey with help from maybe a book or two, and perhaps a good message board to share with fellow journeyers, you can address each of these faulty beliefs as they come into your conscious mind.
You will learn to examine each one, look for any basis in reality, then adjust your belief to something closer to reality. For example, the fact that you don't trust yourself is understandable, but does this mean you'll never be able to trust yourself? When you realize you don't know the answer to this, new possibilities open up, don't they?
See if you can put your objections on hold for just a little while, and bask in this new idea that diets don't work for you and therefore probably never will. Get used to the idea that you are no longer a dieter, but rather, a person surrendering the whole notion of dieting. Then ponder what's around the corner. It's good stuff.
Click on the book cover for more information
Normal Eating solutions: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
Are you white knuckling your weight loss? You know what I mean...you decide to lose weight, and you get on a program, you start to fe
el hungry or slightly deprived, but you tell yourself this is important, and keep your goal in sight.
Did you know that when it comes to eating, white knuckling never works? Those of you who know me, know that it's rare for me to say something so "black and white" as NEVER or ALWAYS.
But I've been around people recovering from eating issues long enough to boldly say that if you white knuckle your weight loss, it will backfire, at some point in the future.
Here are some ways people "white knuckle" their weight loss, all the while telling themselves that this will get them to their goal:
1. Eating food they don't like, such as vats of green soup
2. Taking some of the taste away, such as pancakes with syrup but no butter
3. Skipping breakfast or some other meal
4. Replacing a meal with a repulsive meal replacement
One woman lost one hundred pounds using one of those membership weight loss programs. When asked how she feels, she answered, "Oh I'm hungry all the time."
Do you really think this gal can last? Your body will inevitably rebel if it thinks it's hungry. You can't fool mother nature!
But what to do instead? Be abundantly kind to your body. The only answer is to practice finding your hunger signals and your fullness signals, and obeying them the best you can. Add to that a reasonable diet, including small amounts of everything, including dessert.
Check out an array of helpful books on Amazon.com.
Click on the book cover for more information
Normal Eating solutions: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
Have you ever thought about the centrality of meals to all of life? Even important business meetings sometimes center around coffee and donuts, or a restaurant meal. 
When we were all dieting, back in the bad old days, what made us think we could extract food from the rest of our lives? Eat different foods from those around us? Weigh and measure it? What were we thinking?
It's a mistake to vilify the importance of food. There's no getting away from eating as a social activity, and there's no need to, either.
The only diet tool I've ever seen that really works in all settings is eating small amounts and stopping when eighty percent full.
No matter where you are, you can do that. Yes I know that at your Italian mother-in-law's house, there's some pressure to eat big amounts, but you can learn to push food around on your plate, break the big wad of Italian bread in half, and cover everything with a napkin.
When questioned, say, "It was delicious. But I just couldn't eat that much." Then resist the pressure. (A nod to Gwen Shamblin for this suggestion.)
Sometimes it's other people that have to get over it, not you. But at least you're not insisting on skim milk for your coffee or sugar-free shrimp cocktail sauce. In other words, of all the diet demands made on dinner hosts nowadays, requiring only small portions is the kindest of them.
Click on the book cover for more information
Normal Eating solutions: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
I can't help laughing at myself sometimes. It's the best medicine, as they say, and hopefully it will cure what ails me (eventually).
While it's true I've discovered normal eating, that doesn't make me normal. In fact, from day to day I still struggle with self-acceptance. And I don't mean of the "I don't like myself today" variety. It's way more extreme. It rears its ugly head especially when I'm tired.
To measure up, I gotta compare myself with the worst criminals ever living. That's why I read true crime before falling asleep. Right now, I'm reading every book ever written about the Green River Killer, the serial killer disguised as a nice guy that took the lives of over 40 women before he got caught.
I've read so much about him that I've learned some intimate details of his life, and even have grown to like the guy, in a twisted kind of way.
Which brings us back around to normal eating. The Green River Killer, it turns out, was a normal eater. (Well, I suppose he still is now that he's behind bars.)
He used to say such mundane and level-headed things as "I've had enough food for today." And that was that. He'd stop eating for the day, even if his gentle wife would offer him a delectable slice of cheesecake. As a result, he stays slim and trim.
There's really no point to this entry, except to say let's ditch the idea that we have to "achieve" some kind of wellness before we can eat normally. How about do what the Green River Killer did (I don't mean the killing.) I mean, say, "I've had enough food for today."
And know forever that you don't have to be right in the head in order to learn normal eating. What a relief, huh? Not one of us is entirely right in the head anyway.
I hope my readers can take this in the right light. I never mean to make light of a killer. But sometimes we just gotta laugh at ourselves, and I'm sure some of my readers can identify.
Click on the book cover for more information
Normal Eating solutions: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
Some diet survivors get stuck. They say, "But what really is fullness? I know no end to fullness."
It's understandable, especially for those who have had binge eating disorder. It can take a while after ending the bingeing to be able to find fullness again. 
It's also understandable in light of how diets make us follow rigid rules and ignore what our bodies are telling us!
It's time to start believing in your own wisdom and judgment. Even with a guideline, you're the only one around who will know when you're full.
So try asking yourself toward the end of a meal, "Am I about eighty percent full?" Eighty percent is a good place to stop. Then do your human best to find approximately 80 percent, and stop eating.
If numbers don't work for you, then ask yourself, "Will this next bite be hunger or greed?" You'll know what to do after that.
Don't eat again until you're hungry. And don't forget, eat only delicious food.
Finding fullness is an art of approximation, not a science. The amazing thing is, when it comes to eating, approximate really is good enough.
Click on the book cover for more information
Normal Eating solutions: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
Visit the home of the book, The Rules of Normal Eating
Learn more about normal eating at Eat Normal Now
You've ditched your diet addiction and traded it in for learning to sense your hunger and fullness signals. So do you still need to control your portions?
Yes and no. Theoretically, hunger and fullness signals should be pretty reliable. But it's a long road to finding that sensitivity, one paved with bumps and detours.
How will portion control help? For intuitive eaters, also called normal eaters, portion awareness may work better than portion control. After all, you gave up dieting because the whole "control" approach to eating never worked for you.
It's easy to gain portion awareness. Just watch thin, normal eaters.
Watch someone who has always been thin, or someone who has been an intuitive eater for a while and is at a reasonable weight.
Notice their portion sizes.
Also notice a few other traits common to normal eaters:
1. Some are pretty picky, choosing the best bittes first, and discarding any bit of food that's less than perfect
2. They stop without finishing their food because they're satisfied
3. If they put too much on their plates, they end up leaving more on their plates
4. They slow down as they get full, and push their food around (children do that too)
As a final note, here's what not to do:
1. Don't watch anorexics, bulimics or othe rdisordered eaters to learn about portion sizes. They will confuse you.
2. Don't look to restaurant portions as a good guide, unless perhaps it's a French restaurant.
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How to Survive Your Diet.
Repeat after me (it's easy): Hershey's Kiss. Did I say Hershey's Kisses? No I didn't. Say it again.
Hershey's Kiss.
Just one. Is it hard to speak about one Hershey's Kiss?
Anyone reading this blog probably knows what it means to think in all or nothing terms when it comes to weight loss. This "all or nothing thinking" is also referred to as "black and white thinking."
You've probably had seasons in your life when you ate no Hershey's Kisses, and you also avoided any other kind of food that you considered to be evil.
You may also have had times in your life when you ate the whole bag.
It's not entirely your fault. The diet industry seems to contribute to this all or nothing, diet or binge, kind of thinking.
But to become a normal eater, in which you learn to sense your hunger and fullness, and discover the joy of small portions of real, delicious food, then you'll need to think in terms of:
One Hershey's Kiss
Okay, maybe two.
Don't trust yourself? That's not a reason not to learn normal eating. Instead, it's a reason to undo some distorted thinking.
See below for how to join a free support group.
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How
to Survive Your Diet
Thanks to http://candyaddict.com for the picture.
Are you wondering if maybe you're the type who can't help being overweight? Perhaps you heard the news recently that obesity can be caused by a virus. In a CNN interview, a leading expert says "We're not saying that a virus is the only cause of obesity, but this study provides stronger evidence that some obesity cases may involve viral infections." And what about the genetic component?
You may be wondering if you've been doing all this work for nothing. But suppose it's true. Suppose you're prone to obesity. Should you go back on a restrictive diet?
Let's look at it from a practical standpoint. You're probably reading this blog because you've heard about normal eating and maybe you're already trying it. Maybe you belong to the Diet Survivors message board, or some other similar group to help you find hunger and fullness, and learn to eat intuitively. Perhaps you've read some Geneen Roth books or Karen R. Koenig's book The Rules of Normal Eating.
But it's feeling like you're not getting anywhere.
My guess is that you were somewhere else before you tried normal eating. Were you dieting? Restricting? Purging? Yo-yo-ing? Anorexic? Bulimic? Miserable?
You get my point. You weren't happy, so now you're trying something else. If you go back to chowing down on tasteless cardboard, will you do any better?
Many people lose weight when they finally ditch the diet and try normal eating. But some don't. If you accept that you might not lose weight, will you be any worse off than you were before?
For those of you who may be starting to think your chances of losing weight are limited, maybe it's time to think in a new way. Dare to consider this possibility: maybe you can find happiness nonetheless.
By ditching the diet life, and feeding yourself properly again with delicious food, you do have a shot at happiness. It will still take some mental and psychological work, though. Defying the critical judgment of outsiders isn't easy. No joy in life comes without some work, so accept that you'll have to hunker down a bit. It's still better than your old life, right? And as you learn to follow your hunger and fullness signals, you'll begin to really feel good about yourself.
There's hope, too. With more research, the world will soon begin to bend to this idea that maybe, just maybe, it's not your fault. Meanwhile, find others who understand. Join the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board.
Click on the book cover for more information
Free resources: (You'll see after clicking how to subscribe to them)
Diet Survivors meditations
Diet Survivors newsletter
Diet Survivors message board
Food and Feelings message board
Find out more about Linda Moran's book,
How
to Survive Your Diet
But I know no end to my eating! I can eat way past full and have no idea. What IS fullness anyway? I have to be told when to stop eating.
Do you find yourself saying such things in reference to finding fullness? It's understandable. You may have been out of touch with your body's signals for a long time.
So I'll let you in on a little secret: it's a bit of a science, and even normal eaters don't get it right. Does that mean there's no hope?
No it doesn't mean that. Just understand that if it takes getting five things right, and you get four of them right most of the time, you'll probably do just fine.
Here's just thing, which if you get right, will have a big payoff: don't eat until you're good and hungry.
When you start eating when not hungry, this activity offends your body's sensibilities. At the end of the meal, your mind and body are already confused, which makes finding fullness much harder.
So if you're going to try one new skill for the next few weeks, try finding your hunger first. There are other skills involved in knowing when to stop, but you'll be far along in your mastery if you become adept at waiting for hunger.
