Positive self-talk: June 2007 Archives
Are you resilient? Here's a test:
1. Do you fall apart when someone disagrees with you?
2. Do you avoid all controversial subjects?
3. If you overeat, do you throw in the towel?
4. Is it difficult to cheer yourself up?
5. Are setbacks the same as failures?
6. Do failures mean doom?
7. Do you judge yourself unmercifully?
8. Are you intolerant of your own mistakes?
9. Do you allow others' opinions of you shape who you are?
If you fit any one of these, you may not have enough resiliency.
In Raising Resilient Children: Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child, authors Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein say this, "Parents who engage in the process of raising resilient youngsters possess an understanding that is sometimes explicit, at other times implicit or intuitive, of what they can do to nurture a resilient mindset and behaviors in their children."
But you may not have been parented that way. And now, here you are as an adult, not terribly resilient. Is it too late?
Of course not! But how to find resiliency now?
Resilience building in children comes by way of example and positive discussions. As an adult you have the unique advantage of saying exactly what you want said to you. That is, you can do a better job now than your parents might have done, had they been at their best.
Here are some ideas:
1. Teach and model empathy to yourself
2. Listen carefully to yourself and your needs
3. Notice and comment on what you're doing right; develop a tolerance of your mistakes
4. Make yourself feel special and appreciated
5. Set realistic goals for yourself
6. Communicate self-acceptance
7. Find your areas of competence and develop them
8. Develop a habit of learning from your mistakes objectively
9. Teach yourself to make rational decisions
10. Teach yourself courage
This is a lifetime process, but did you even realize you need to do it? As adults, all of us are self-teachers. We pick up the slack where we didn't receive what we needed while being raised.
Resilience will help you with your weight and body image. Start today.
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This blog is a companion to the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board and the free Diet Survivors newsletter.
Find out more about Linda Moran's book, How to Survive Your Diet.
