The HPV vaccine hysteria

Do your kids listen to you or not? Do they respect your point of view or don't they?

If you think that giving your daughter the HPV vaccine is an action that speaks louder than your words, then you are making the stunning admission that your values don't rate. You have a bigger problem than whether or not to give the HPV vaccine.

To say that the HPV vaccine condones premarital sex or careless sex is a fatalistic attitude that belies your own sense of powerlessness as a positive model to your kids.

And I know this statement might bring the sting of conviction, but folks who choose not to immunize their daughters in the name of morality or religion are more concerned about sending a message than with the safety of their loved ones.

What's more important to you--your daughter's safety? Or your platform?

I know which I choose for my two daughters. And since I don't live in Texas, I don't even get the luxury of blaming it on my state when I willingly haul my kids to the doctor this spring.

My girls, age 11 and 13, respect my values. But even if they do choose my values, which as adults will be up to them, and they do wait until marriage to have sex, what about date rape? What about getting a spiked drink at a party? These are risks, too.

And what about the young lady who remains a virgin until marriage, but her husband didn't do so well? A member of the Teens and Tweens message board put it this way:

"I could not agree more with those who say sex belongs only in marriage. However, even if a young woman remains abstinent until marriage and monogamous throughout her marriage, if her husband does not, he can pass this virus to her. The virus does not care who it infects.

"The sad reality is that for the most part, most of our daughters will not have future husbands who have been abstinent until marriage; therefore I will do whatever it takes to protect them. I liken it to learning CPR, better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it."

I want to reduce all of my daughters' risks, not just some. So I talk about everything that can happen, from spiked drinks to cancer. I want to keep them safe in every way. To me, if your kids know your values, there's no contradiction.

HPV causes cervical cancer. Cancer kills. I want my girls to live a long life.

Bringing my girls to the doctor this spring for the HPV vaccine is a poignant way of communicating my love for them. The message that I love them this much will help them make good choices in their sexual futures. And the message that I refuse to use them as a platform will only double the love, thus doubling their self-care.

There's one other compelling reason to seriously consider this vaccine now: it's only effective if given before sexual activity begins.

Is the vaccine safe? That's a different question, and I will research it for myself before their appointments.